An Interview with the Court Dancer
Hey there, I'm Kanozomiya the Kau, but you can call me Miya! I bet you're wondering
why you're here. Well, it's simple, really. You obviously love the Court Dancer
sooo much that you subconsciously came to read this exclusive interview with her!
Yep, that's right, I managed to track her down and ask her a few questions.
Here's what happened:
The other day, as I was playing with my Court Dancer Plushie and jingling my
Court Dancer Tambourine, I couldn't help but wonder where the Court Dancer could
have fled to after having her disguise lifted. That's why I packed my Faerie
Backpack and set off around Neopia. After days of trekking through wild jungle,
I heard the unmistakable sound of a tambourine. Excited, I pushed through the
thick vegetation, my heart in my mouth. I came to a small clearing and saw a
Brown Aisha, skirts whirling as she danced. I stepped forward, entranced. But
as I moved from the cover of the trees, the Aisha turned around and saw me.
Then she dropped her tambourine, covered her mouth, and screamed. So I screamed.
Mysterious Aisha: AHHH!
Mysterious Aisha: -huge gulp of air- Wh-what are you?
Me: Huh? -looks down-
I was covered in dirt, leaves and what looked like a large smear of white chocolate
down my front.
Me: Oh. -nervous laugh- Heh, it's just dirt. I'm actually a Spotted Kau under
all this -gestures to body-
Mysterious Aisha: Really? Thank goodness. I thought you were some horrible
jungle monster come to eat me or something.
Me: I can be if you want me to.
Mysterious Aisha: Uhh, that's ok.
Me: -shrug- No problem. So, umm, I was wondering, are you, by any chance ...
the Court Dancer?
Mysterious Aisha: -stiffens- Who wants to know?
Me: I'm a Neopian Times reporter, you see, and I was hoping to interview her.
Mysterious Aisha: Wait, how did you find me!? Oh no, are you going to turn
me in? Please, please, I beg of you, don't hand me over to the Chia Police!
Me: Hey, wait, no, I just want an interview. I'm a big fan you see, so, I thought
it would be really cool to meet her... umm, you.
Mysterious Aisha: -sigh- Ok, I'm the Court Dancer. I don't see why you'd want
to interview me, but, go ahead.
Me: Really? Cool!
I grabbed my Neopian Times Note Book and took a Sock Pencil out of my Neopian
Times Pencil Case. I was all set for my first ever interview.
Me: Ok, first question. Are you really evil?
Court Dancer: Of course not! Just because I did evil things and worked for
an evil dictator on the evil side, doesn't mean I'm evil!
Me: ... Right. Care to elaborate?
Court Dancer: I was forced to do what Lord Kass said. He put a spell on me
that enabled me to control anyone who watched me dance. I had no choice. Kass
wasn't the sort of person you could say no to, if you catch my drift.
Me: I see your point. Ok, second question: Why are you Brown again?
Court Dancer: I guess I got pretty comfortable as a Brown Aisha. Plus, being
Darigan brings back a lot of painful memories.
Me: Fair enough. Next question is -scans list- didn't you ever get tired of
dancing? I mean, you never stopped once the entire time you performed for King
Court Dancer: Actually, I enjoyed it a lot. Nobody tried to interrupt me the
entire time. I could just dance and dance and dance for as long as I wanted
Me: -cough- Umm, yes, so. When you say nobody tried to interrupt you, does
that mean you don't count the arrival of Lisha and her spell as an interruption?
Court Dancer: -twitches- L-Lisha? -eyes glaze-
Me: Uhh, yeah. You know, little Aisha, yellow, big glasses...
Court Dancer: -mumbles- No sense of fashion, stupid shield...
Me: Pardon, didn't quite catch that?
Court Dancer: -big smile- Nothing dear, nothing. What's your next question?
Me: Actually, this one ties in a bit with the whole Lisha thing. Do you hate
Court Dancer: -high laugh- Now, why would I hate Lisha? She only cast a spell
that returned me to my Darigan form in front of a room filled with Meridellian
subjects, just as I reached the climax of my dance. Then I was arrested and
thrown into the dungeons, and had to escape, only to go into hiding for the
rest of my life, because everyone thinks I'm evil and ugly and grabs a pitchfork
whenever I walk past! Why in NEOPIA would I possibly hate that stupid, meddling
I made a mental note to bring an umbrella the next time I interviewed her.
She spits a lot when she talks about Lisha, for some reason.
Me: Ok, so that's a no to the Lisha question. Now, all your fans out there
would like to know -
Court Dancer: Wait a second, did you just say 'fans'?
Me: Yep. Didn't you know you had fans?
Court Dancer: Well, no. I thought everyone hated me.
Me: -snort- Nope. I'm your fan for one, and there are tons of people out there
who like you. There's even Court Dancer merchandise.
Court Dancer: There is?!
Me: Yeah! Plushies, posters, TCG, pillows, Usuki sets, tambourines. There's
even a gnome! I have all of them.
Court Dancer: Wow. I had no idea.
Me: I got most of them for my birthday, but I did buy some with my allowance
Court Dancer: I meant I had no idea there was merchandise.
Me: Oh. Right. I knew that. Just adding some background in... Anyway! As I
was saying before, your fans want to know if you realise you have an entry in
the Gallery of Evil?
Court Dancer: WHAT! Why?! I didn't do anything wrong! I was framed, I tell
Me: You know that, and I know that, but the people higher up seem to think
hypnotizing Skarl is evil. I reckon they should be happy; Meridell saved several
days worth of food. You did them a favour, so they should really -
Court Dancer: Is Lisha in the Gallery of Evil too?
Me: I'm pretty sure she's in the Gallery of Heroes.
Court Dancer: -gurgling noises-
Me: Hey, that vein in your neck is kind of, um, bulging a bit, are you alright?
Court Dancer: -drinks some water- Yes, I'll be fine, just, you know, the old
blood pressure -finger twitches-
Me: Phew, cool. That vein-trick is a bit freaky, heh. -watches Court Dancer's
neck nervously- We're almost finished, just a few questions left. I was wondering,
will you ever show yourself in public again?
Court Dancer: Hopefully. But I can tell you now, that I will definitely come
out of hiding when I hear that Lisha has been turned into the Dark Faerie she
really is, and given to Balthazar.
Me: Wow. You've really thought this through, haven't you?
Court Dancer: Several times.
Me: -nods- Very good. This is the last question, and probably the most important
you will ever be asked.
Court Dancer: Mmhmm.
Me: Can I have your autograph?
Court Dancer: -shrugs- Sure. On one condition; I get to ask you two questions.
Me: Ohhh, I don't know. That's not really how it works. I'm the interviewer
and you're the interviewee. If everyone went around swapping titles, imagine
how confusing it would get!
Court Dancer: Fine. No autograph. -folds arms-
Me: Ok! Ok, just, let's not make any rash decisions now. -nervous laugh-
I rummaged in my bag and pulled out a Neopian Times Quill along with a rolled
up Court Dancer Poster. The Court Dancer took them from me and signed the poster
with a flourish, then handed them back. I carefully rolled the poster up and
placed it into my bag. I couldn't believe I had actually gotten the Court Dancer's
signature and managed to meet her.
Court Dancer: Are you... crying?
Me: What, no, of course not. -wipes eyes- Just all this dirt, got into my eye,
you know how it is. So, what do you want to ask?
Court Dancer: Ok, first of all, I want to know: Is that pencil a sock?
Me: -surprised- Oh, yeah, why?
Court Dancer: That is so cool! Can I have it?
Me: Sure. I have like, fifty at home anyway.
Court Dancer: Wow. Thank you! I love socks.
Me: Me too!
Court Dancer: -giggle- Awesome. Can I ask my second question now?
Court Dancer: Do you hate Lisha for destroying my life?
Me: Um, heh -nervous glances- I can't answer that, Times reporters shouldn't
have opinions on highly influential people -coughs-
Court Dancer: -nods- I understand. How about, if you blink, you mean yes. Good,
yep, ok, go!
Me: Hey, wait, no, I'm not ready!
The Court Dancer stared at me. My eyes were beginning to water. I wasn't going
to make it -
Court Dancer: HA! You just blinked! I saw you!
Me: I did not!
Court Dancer: You hate Lisha! I knew it!
Me: -mutters- No fair.
Court Dancer: Well, that's all my questions asked. Is the interview over now?
Me: I think so... Oh wait, there's another question here, on the back. It says
-squints- Do White Weewoos exist?
Court Dancer: -shifty eyes- Oh, hey, look over there, in the sky, is that a
Me: -gasp- Where?! I can't see it. Are you sure you - Hey!
Unfortunately, when I turned around, the Court Dancer had disappeared and I
decided she had probably been snatched by some ferocious wild jungle creature.
At least I had her autograph. So I slipped my backpack on and began my journey
This is my first entry in the NT, criticism is welcome :) I would like
to thank haverty for test-reading it!