White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* Circulation: 161,608,688 Issue: 291 | 11th day of Hunting, Y9
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Summer Vacations of the Rich and Famous

by claire_voyance


The sun is shining, the Yooyu flowers are blooming, and we all know this can only mean one thing; summer is finally coming to Neopia! While this can mean Mynci Ball on the beach or surfing near the rock pool, many Neopians aren’t satisfied with their summer vacations anymore.

“Every year we go to Mystery Island. It was fun the first time and everything, but now I just think to myself, why bother?” said one disgruntled Xweetok.

“The prices are insane on Krawk Island! And it’s such a hassle to transfer all of my money into dubloons. The local pirates aren’t exactly the friendliest to strangers either. I stay home most summers now,” said one down-hearted Kacheek

Has going to the same place every summer gotten you down? Do you wish you could add a little more fun to your summer time in the sun? Well, fear no more! Today we’re going to bring you inside looks on how the rich and famous spend their summers. Maybe you’ll find some excellent ideas on how to spend your time without worrying about doing the same thing you did last year!

First off was the Tombola Guy. For a man who spends most of his time on Mystery Island, where does he go in the summer for fun? He told reporters in an exclusive interview that he actually went to Terror Mountain for the summer. Shocking? Read on.

“No really, Terror Mountain is beautiful in the summer. Why, the sun hits the ice just right every morning so that the caves just gleam. That, and nobody’s ever there, so I can get first shot at all the fun games they have to offer.”

But what about the cold? If it’s summer time, don’t you want to be sun bathing on a warm beach soaking in the rays?

“Sunlight and heat are completely overrated,” he said. “Everyone’s always clambering for the nearest air conditioner anyway. At Terror Mountain there’s no sweat, no lines at the Ice Cream Cart, and best of all, you don’t have to worry about bringing along that sun tan lotion!

“If you’re really rich you can even rent out your very own snow castle and live like royalty for the week! The worst part is having to go home, honestly. So many people crowding around my booth and everything. Terror Mountain is a nice relaxing place to vacation.”

Maybe some of you aren’t quite as fond of the cold as Tombola Guy, though. Where can you go? We asked none other than Taelia the Snow Faerie where she likes to go to escape the freezing temperatures for a little summer fun.

“Well, I have some relatives down in the Haunted Woods... I don’t really talk about them much. But I go down to their house in Neovia every summer. We play games at the Deserted Fairgrounds, which aren’t really as bad as everyone gives them credit for. And every night we sit around a campfire and listen to the gypsies tell us ghost stories. It’s a lot of fun!”

Isn’t it a bit... you know, haunted in the Haunted Woods? We felt this was an important question to be asked.

“Only if you believe in ghost stories like that. I’ve only heard of someone disappearing ten, maybe twenty times. It’s harmless! Although the lines for some of the games are a bit longer in the summer, it’s well worth it in the end. Camping and sleeping out under the stars is priceless. Even if there is a slorg or two in your sleeping bag.”

Uh-huh. Well, if camping with the spooks isn’t your thing, we caught up with King Hagan, the mightiest, smartest, most handsome, most dashing, richest... and umm... greatest king of Brightvale.

“I have a summer home in Maraqua, of course. I visit my good friend King Kelpbeard every summer. Sure, it’s crowded underwater, but I get the VIP treatment. Fresh meals every night at Kelp, and the water is simply delightful. Oh, and the front row seating at the Underwater Battledome. Many an interesting fight goes on there during the day. Sadly I’m always stopped on the street to listen to someone give me some wisdom. As if I need any more!”

So modest, so wonderful... But what of those who cannot afford such VIP treatment in the summer?

“Tough noogies to them. Only we rich and most honorable kings deserve such wonderful summertime getaways anyway. The rest of you commoners should be off somewhere else. Maybe the Lost Desert?”

Ah, the Lost Desert. One of the last places anyone wants to go during the summer. The temperatures rise dangerously high and sunburns cause mass chaos to poor Neopets who are outside for longer than 9.67 seconds. No one would ever want to go there for the summer, right? Well, we found out otherwise from none other than Faerie Queen Fyora herself!

“Yes, it’s true, I go to the Lost Desert every summer or so. It’s just so ancient and everything, though. I love old priceless relics. And I can get them at a bargain! Even though everyone says that Island fashion is all the rage for summertime, I think that Desert fashion is far more timeless. Gold, jewels, armor? Nothing can beat that.”

But what about the heat, and the sun would be terrible for anyone’s complexion. How would you ever be able to deal with such harsh conditions?

“Hah, I’m magic, remember? I don’t need to worry about such things. But I’ve come to find that a little dab of Shaky Flaky Cream prevents any type of skin irritation. Also, while you’re there you simply have to pick up the latest outfits. And those are made special to keep you safe from the sun. Everyone says they love going to the beach in the summer. Well, the desert is like one giant beach! But these sand castles and pyramids beat anything you might see on Krawk Island.”

Well, there you have it, folks. The summer lifestyles of the rich and famous. If another family trip to Krawk Island or Mystery Island has you down, just remember that you don’t have to go to an island to find summer paradise.

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