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An Upcoming Epidemic


by flamesbball

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Every Neopet has to get sick at some point of your life, and as awful as it is, every Neopian has to nurse their beloved pet back to heath. After all, you don’t want your Kiko to spend the rest of their life afraid of leaving their neohome! After weeks (well, actually just a few hours) of interviewing and number-crunching, I have come to the conclusion that the most common disease is Sneezles.

“Your pet will have a runny nose and sneeze constantly,” says TNT. Everyone knows that that’s just an easier version of saying that your pet will be drastically unwell with all possible symptoms you can think of. Now, will your pets have a runny nose and sneeze? Yes, but in really bad cases your pet can have a fever, chills, and a loss of appetite.

How do you get the Sneezles, you ask? Well, you can get it from quite a few things. The most obvious thing is the Wheel of Excitement. Land on the skull and ZAP! Your pet is sick. However, there are other, more normal ways to contract this common disease.

The Sneezles is much like an incredibly severe cold, and where else is cold but Terror Mountain? Make sure you keep your pets bundled up and warm as you adventure out into the freezing mountains. Most pets like Cybunnies and any other sturdy, furry pet should be okay, but it’s better to be safe than having to keep your pet excluded from any activities.

Also, there have been rumors flying around Neopia that certain faeries *cough, cough* dark faeries *cough, cough* have been appearing out of nowhere and giving poor, unsuspecting Neopets the Sneezles. These reports have not been confirmed yet, though.

So where did this dreadful illness come from? There are many speculations about this topic. To bring you, the readers of the Neopian Times, the truth, I set up a short interview with Dr. Gelert.

FB: So, Doctor, do you know how Sneezles came about?

DG: Actually, we at the Neopian Hospital are still researching that, but we believe it originated somewhere on the peak of Terror Mountain, but our second thought is Meridell.

FB: Terror Mountain I can understand, being so cold. But Meridell is usually pretty mild, so why there?

DG: As I’m sure you’re fully aware of, Meridell isn’t exactly what you would call a ‘futuristic’ place. They still have a king, after all! Being so un-technologically advanced, they didn’t have the same medical knowledge that the rest of Neopia did until after they were discovered. Because of this, the other doctors and I believe that Sneezles may have been a common sickness in old Meridell that eventually spread to the rest of Neopia.

FB: I see you’ve put a lot of thought into this. How many cases of Sneezles do you usually see?

DG: Quite a few, *chuckles* actually, because the Sneezles is one of the most common diseases in Neopia, I see at least 100 cases a day. Maybe even more... it all depends on whether or not the owner wants to come see me or not.

FB: Well, that’s all the questions I had to ask you; thank you for your time.

DG: You’re very welcome! Come and talk any time!

So just where did Sneezles come from? Neopia may never know.

But the doctors of our time do have some good news! There is a cure for the awful Sneezles. It’s called a magic cookie. Now you’re probably wondering many things about this so-called “Magic Cookie” Is it really magical? What does it cost? Can I eat it even without being sick? Where did that come from? How come any other medicine isn’t considered magical? These questions will all be answered in the following paragraphs.

Let’s address the first one first... is the magic cookie really magical? Well, what is magic? Is it something that only faeries can do? Or is it something that any one can do if they only try? Maybe you don’t believe in magic, because you believe that everything has a logical explanation. To really answer this question, you have to realize how a magic cookie works! It’s simple, really; you eat the cookie, and you’re cured! Yes, it was created by doctors, and that’s logical, but then it was dubbed “magic” by its name. So, do I believe that the magic cookie is magic? No. I think it’s just another medicine used to make your sick Neopets healthy again, which also makes it a magic of its own. This is a very philosophical question, and I will leave the answer up to whoever wants to debate it.

Secondly, what does the magic cookie cost? If you go to the Neopian Pharmacy it will be about 1,147 neopoints, give or take a few. If you go to the shop wizard, the magic cookie is 900 neopoints, at the lowest. So, magic cookies are not in very high demand right now, so this is the perfect time to buy a few.

Thirdly, can you eat it like a normal cookie? Yes! This is one of the many joys of the magic cookie. If you’re sick, you’ll be cured, and if you’re healthy, then you just ate a very good cookie. Everyone likes cookies, and from the looks of it, this special and ingenious cookie has bits of macadamia nuts, and white chocolate... enough to make anyone’s stomach rumble.

So where does the magic cookie come from? Well, other than being officially developed by highly trained and professional doctors, the magic cookie could have originated in the same places as the Sneezles could have originated. Terror Mountain could have created the original recipe because magic cookies go incredibly well with milk, and Meridell might have created the recipe by way of an old pet making cookies that just happened to have possible magical proportions. So where did the magic cookie come from? That may also be one of the many things Neopia will just never know. Will we have to accept that fact? Yes, but I think we can all do this with a little time and effort.

Lastly, why isn’t any other medicinal remedy considered magical? This could be because every other cure has a pretty long name. I mean, could you imagine a Neopia in which you went to the pharmacy to ask for a couple of Magical Hoochie Coochie Tablets? That’s quite a mouthful! However, there are other magic-deemed medicines out there. For example: Magic Goop, Magic Smelly Socks, and I suppose you could even count Potion of Containment in that little list, being a potion and all. But why does the magic cookie get the special title of “magic”, and not just “cookie”? Well, there are many types of cookies in Neopia. There are chocolate-chip, pumpkin, and fortune, just to name a few.

As you can see, the Sneezles are a very serious disease. There are many links to the Sneezles that have yet to be explained. Doctors and scientist have studied this disease lightly, but I believe it’s time to take even the most common disease seriously. Hopefully this article has either shed some light on this issue, or warned the greater Neopia. Either way, now you and everyone else can cure and prevent this upcoming epidemic we call “Sneezles”.

 
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