Preparing Neopia for the Meepits Circulation: 110,063,541 Issue: 170 | 19th day of Celebrating, Y6
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Santa Kaus's Naughty Neopian List


by o_apollo_o

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He sees you when you’re sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake! He knows if you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake’s! You better watch out, because Santa Kaus is coming to town!

However, not every Neopian has been nice this year. In fact, some have been quite naughty! Doing bad things is a red flag to jolly ol’ Santa Kaus. Each year, he makes two lists, a Nice Neopian List and a Naughty Neopian List. The good, sweet, and innocent Neopians on his Nice Neopian List get their greatest desires granted to them, mostly in present form. The evil, bad, and mean Neopians on the Naughty Neopian List get a Packet of Gravel.

At this time of the holiday season, every Neopian wants to know which list they are on. Always wanting to fulfill others’ holiday wishes, I decided to sneak into Santa Kaus’s Top of Terror Mountain Secret Workshop Headquarters and steal his Naughty Neopian List.

After going through the list, there are no big surprises. Written in very delicate handwriting, a list of the bad Neopians that have been bad throughout the year was shone and here it is for all to see!

* * * * *

Dr. Frank Sloth- Frankie has been very bad this year. In fact, he has always been bad! This year alone he threatened Neopia with a space army, sworn revenge on the Neopets Team for canceling his plot, and he took over the New Features section twice!

The Pant Devil- This little demon has caused plenty of damage! He stole hundreds of items from hundreds of Neopians and got away with it! Too bad he never even made it to the nice list once…

Masila- Masila… tsk, tsk! She used to be the sweetest little Acara, until she met Galem. She is now the most untrustworthy Neopian out there, plus all of the bad things she did are too horrible to be mentioned.

Morguss- She is a constant repeater on this list! Helping Kass attack Meridell for no reason, endangering her daughter’s life! BAD!

The Court Dancer- If it wasn’t for her mother, she’d be getting some presents! She hypnotized King Skarl and innocent Meridellian peasants, thank goodness for Lisha.

Dr_Death- His years as a pound owner has made him mean, he is even cruel to the pets he tried to help! He used to be so nice! Aw well, things aren’t like they once were…

Giant Space Fungus- This worthless blob of pink is oh so very bad! He gets in the way of innocent space travelers and is even made of poison!

MAGAX: Destroyer- He did something so bad it is too vile to repeat, even on paper!

Vira- This winged demon flies around the Haunted Woods, and cackles at small pets, which run away frightened! When she comes across a beautiful pet, she attacks them, leaving almost nothing left…

Hubrid Nox- Constantly trying to weasel his way into world domination, Mr. Nox weaseled his way into the naughty list. His evil plans never work, but they are plenty evil!

Zafara Rogue- This nasty Zafara pickpockets anyone in her way. She does it to help herself survive, but there are many better ways.

Bringer of Night- *shudder* He has been on this list for thousands of years! Causing plagues and death where ever he goes, this demi-god defiantly isn’t going to get anything!

Wizzle- Wizzle has been a bad boy! He let loose the evil Jelly Chia into this world, but he secretly survived and lets it live! Don’t be fooled, you never know if he is right behind you…

Snow Beasts- Whether they are flea ridden, average, angry, or gigantic, Snow Beasts have never made anything easy for anyone. Poor Armin and Hannah, I hope those beasts leave soon!

Tax Beast- While on the subject of beasts, the Tax Beast is no better than his cousins, the Snow Beasts! He steals neopoints from poor pets, only for his own gain!

The Skeletal Army- When it is evil vs. evil, nothing is left out. The Thieves Guild has to fight the Skeletal Army, ranging from minions to commanders! The follow the Bringer of Night, so that is evil itself!

The Down for Maintenance Pteri- No surprise here… although last year the Down for Maintenance Aisha made the list.

Lord Kass- Beginning a war against Meridell based on emotions is wrong. Trying to kill brave warriors is worse. Making it on my bad boy list is the worst!

The Shadow Usul- Being the sneakiest and quickest thief out there got her onto my list. She steals the most expensive items around. Treasure Maps, Codestones, Bottled Faeries, I wonder what she does with them all.

Tuborr- This not-so-smart denizen is willing to give up his life for Galem Darkhand, the nastiest Grarrl of all! He also as done something bad at the Guildmasters’ Dinner and it is one of the few secrets kept from me!

The Spider Grundo- This mutation of Dr. Sloth will never stop to give evilness a rest. Whether it be scaring the pants off small petpets, or threatening to rip off someone’s flesh, this weirdo does it all!

Galem Darkhand- Galem is nasty, cruel, evil, and highly sneaky. He has been able to slip himself onto my Nice Neopian List in the past, but that just won’t cut it this time! I am sure he is up to something… something EVIL!

Kanrik- This is one handsome Gelert that is loved by fans, but not by me. There is no hope for him to become nice, and though some say he is misunderstood, he is bad to da bone! Tricking Hannah to get a treasure and unleashing the Bringer of Night is the worse thing anyone as ever done in all my days!

The Jelly Chia- Although Wizzle is responsible for unleashing this monstrosity; he decided to take the path of evil himself! Haunting an old abounded candy factory is bad enough to make it on this list! Everyone loves candy!

Gashrok- This is a suave/not-so-bright combination. He not only smashes tons of things every second, but it is rumored that he is relate to Blugthak, one of the nastiest two-headed villains of all!

Blugthak- Evil runs in the family! Blugthak followed Kass, smooshed pets, and that is naughty enough for me!

Commander Garoo- This is one nasty ol’ Blumaroo! He didn’t do much wrong, but be on Sloth’s side is bad enough! It is unknown whether he was part of The Return of Doctor Sloth, but I know of other stuff he’s done while he was hiding…

Ylana Skyfire- This is a follower of the Frankie too! Bad! Oh well, attacking Neopia gets them onto the Naughty Neopian List, but there still may be hope for Ylana…

Sophix II- A friend (or partner) of Ylana, Sophix is just as bad. She followed Sloth as well, and deserves and equal punishment.

Sabatha- This sneaky Zafara was a spoiled rotten brat since birth. She cheated on her end of the year exams and has done many other thief-like jobs.

Malkus Vile- He has been quite inactive since the stolen Coltzan’s Crown, but his recent appearance at the Guildmasters’ Dinner makes him seem suspicious…

Meuka- This slimy Meerca has achoo-ed himself onto my list! Not only his he just plain nasty, but he also makes pets sick, and then jumps out of their nose!

The Werelupe King- Mr. Werelupe has been acting up lately, I wonder if he has been planning something…

Count Von Roo- Sucking blood and making innocent pets his zombie slaves is the worse thing you could do! Good thing you can chase him away with Meepits!

Jhudora- Jhudora just won’t give up! She has always been on the list, even when she was a young faerie! Anyways, tricking pets and owners into gathering items of mass destruction for her is awful, especially because she is so mean about it!

Arnold- This is the Mynci that runs the “Test Your Strength” booth in the Deserted Fairgrounds. Arnold is guilty of being a con-artist, and also thievery. It is rigged, so don’t bother playing it.

Eliv Thade- Eliv is actually quite kind and caring, but trapping Gilly inside his castle, BAD!

The Beast in the Lair- This pterodactyl like thingy scares the dung out of pets, after being lead to him after spinning the Wheel of Monotony!

Lava Ghoul- This is a mean little demon that will scorch a pet or owner after spinning the Wheel of Excitement or maybe just for no reason!

Giant Ghostkerchief- All he as to say is, “BOO!”

Giant Hungry Malevolent Chomby- This is one hungry Chomby, but being hungry is no excuse for eating everything, even houses!

Advisor Broo- He has secretly been plotting to overthrow King Roo, but that king is to ignorantly bliss to realize it!

Tekkitu the Witch Doctor- He is one bad doctor! He has hypnotized people into doing his will, but hasn’t gotten away with it yet!

Kastraliss- Although terribly cute in an evil way, Kastraliss here is in trouble for ruining many pets’ lives!

Apollo- This dolt has willingly broke into my secret headquarters and stole my Naughty Neopian List! This not-so-innocent owner will probably get a Packet of Gravel for many years to come…

* * * * *

Whoops! It would seem that I should return this on the double! Everyone, have a very merry Christmas!

 
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