Preparing Neopia for the Meepits Circulation: 143,909,097 Issue: 302 | 27th day of Swimming, Y9
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The Reason Dr. Sloth is Here


by 24meepit13

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Looking out the window of his not-so-secret lair, Dr. Frank Sloth stared at the face of Neopia. He glared down at it, as if his unwavering glare would somehow take over, and all Neopets would bow before him. His hands clenched into fists as he thought of every humiliation those Neopets had brought before him. He bared his teeth in thought of the Neopets and their owners mocking him, calling him a Green Chicken Head, a loser, a nobody.

     Instead of plotting and scheming like usual, he hung his head and sighed. Maybe those Neopets were right, he thought. As usual, the little voice in the back of his head started acting up again.

     'You were here first, not those Neopets!' it squeaked. 'No super genius should take those insults sitting down!'

     Ignoring the voice, Dr. Sloth slumped in his chair, and leaned on his desk. Why did he even try to take over Neopia? All those Neopets would stop him again, and mock him once more. Why did they always win?

     Feeling glum, Dr. Sloth picked up a piece of paper and his Gnome Pencil. He paused, thinking, then started to write a letter:

      Dear Neopians,

      This is Dr. Frank Sloth, the one you Neopets have all mocked at some point or another. I just wanted to let you all know that I have decided to end my reign of terror on you Neopets. I am tired of humiliation and defeat, and wish to end this feud between us. I send you this to inform you that I will be retiring from my evil genius career, starting a new life, and turning over a new leaf. Now you all despicable Neopets will have one less villain to fear. Consider yourselves lucky.

      Dr. Frank Sloth, Ex. Evil Genius

     Pressing a button on his desk, he summoned a Mutant Grundo servant.

     “Take this to the Neopian Times, and have them print this on the front page. Do it, or you will become the Spider Grundo's new toy,” Dr. Sloth ordered the Grundo. The Grundo bowed, then ran off. Tired, Dr. Sloth fell asleep in his bed, exhausted from the day's events.

     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     The next morning, Dr. Sloth was roused from his peaceful slumber by a Green Grundo.

     “Yes, yes, what now?” Dr. Sloth growled, clumsily getting up out of bed and trying to stay awake.

     “Master, the Neopians...” the Green Grundo trembled.

     “Well?” Dr. Sloth hissed, tapping his food and arching his eyebrow. The Grundo recoiled under his glare.

     “They..” he swallowed, “They want you to continue your career as a super villain.”

     Dr. Sloth stared at him, frowned a bit, then shook his head and stared at the Grundo some more. “They want me to what?” he asked quietly.

     “It's true, sir,” the Grundo said. “Here, they sent you a bunch of Neomails saying so.” He handed Sloth a bundle of Neomails. Dr. Sloth took them and placed them on his desk, opening the first one. It was from a girl named Jackie, from Neopia Central. She wrote:

      “Dear Dr. Frank Sloth,

      When I read your letter in the Neopian Times today, I nearly fainted. Don't leave us, Dr. Sloth! You are the main reason my Baby Lupe even obeys me. My Lupe is terrified of you, and I tell him that if he doesn't do his chores and such, you will come and take away his plushies. Please say you will come back!

      Jackie”

     Dr. Sloth read over her neat handwriting once more, just to make sure he read correctly. A Neopet... afraid of him? Sure, it was just a Baby Lupe, but still, it was a Neopet all the same. Turning to the next letter, he looked at the back of it. It was from Brandon, from Mystery Island. Brandon wrote:

      “Dear Dr. Sloth,

      My Xweetok is probably your biggest fan. She started a fan club about you when she read your Neopedia Article a few months back. I had to run all around Mystery Island to keep her away from today's Neopian Times, because if she heard you retired, she would be crushed, and so would her hundreds of fan club members.

      Yours Truly,

      Brandon”

     Dr. Sloth's jaw dropped. He looked back at the Neomail to be sure he read “hundreds of fan club members” correctly. When he was positive it wasn't a trick, he sat back in his chair, eyes wide open, mouth only partially open. He had hundreds of fans? Smiling, Dr. Sloth turned to the next letter. It was from Veronica, of Tyrannia.

      "Dear Dr. Sloth,

      When I read your letter in today's Neopian Times, I was shocked. You, one of our longest enemies, suddenly quitting? No way! That is why I must say to you that you should not stop being a villain just because of some losses. Sure, you get humiliated and laughed at, but the point was you never quit. You are (in a strange way) a kind of role model to the younger Neopets. Because even though you always failed, you always tried again. That makes you a hero to some.

      Hope you change your mind!

      From Veronica"

     Reading over the rest of the letters, Dr. Sloth found that they all sounded a lot like the first three. Pleased, and a little shocked, to have so many people who thought well of him, he relaxed in his chair.

     Dr. Sloth walked over to his window, and looked down upon Neopia. He realized he needed them as much as they needed him, for, without them, there would be no Neopia to take over, or Neopets to enslave.

     He sat down at his desk again, picked up his Gnome Pencil and paper, and wrote a letter correcting his errors of the previous day.

      "Dear Neopians,

      I would like to inform you that I am making a comeback as a Super Villain. Due to some unexpected advice, I have decided to try, once again, to take over Neopia. And this time, I WILL SUCCEED! So, consider yourselves warned, Neopets. However, I won't tell you when I shall strike, so it will be a surprise when it does happen. It could be a few seconds after you finish reading, the day after you finish reading, or a year after you finish reading.

      Again, consider yourselves warned!

      Dr. Frank Sloth"

     He called a servant over to deliver his letter to the Neopian Times office to have it printed on the front page of the next day's issue. Once the servant bowed and departed, Dr. Sloth walked back over to the window and began talking to the Neopets, even though they obviously could not hear him.

     "People of Neopia," he began, "I am now your newest and greatest threat. Forget the Pant Devil and Jhudora; they are but children compared to me! Bwuahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Then he cleared his throat and continued. "I need you as much as you need me, and so I shall continue to strike again and again, whether you want me to or not. Beware me, Neopets, for I shall rule all!"

     After finishing his mindless ranting, he walked back over to his desk and began plotting and scheming as always.

The End

 
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