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A Chat and A Cup of Borovan With: The 2nd Chat

by larenbeka


Also by erileen

Erileen: Welcome back! Here we are for another wonderful chat with an interesting guest—

Larenbeka: Who WILL NOT eat me! *shifty eyes*

Erileen: Most of you know our guest as an exemplary, intelligent, and adventurous soul—

Larenbeka: Or is her bravery a flimsy façade to a misunderstood character? We’re here to find out! The gossip plaguing Neopia these weeks is Hannah’s new game; we wanted to be in on the “scoop” so here it is for all readers! Please give a warm welcome to Hannah from her newly featured game, “Hannah and the Ice Caves”!

Hannah: That is, like, sooooo nice of you! *girlish giggle* *flips hair*

Erileen: So what made you decide to save souls?

Hannah: At the time it was the like, “in” thing, you know? My peeps were doing it, so I

was like, “Hannah, you should do it, too!” And, like…yeah. *smile so wide it is sickening*

Larenbeka: *raises eyebrow* Mmm…my, my, my. I didn’t expect that answer!

Hannah: I’m a very surprising person. We should do lunch sometime and have a “girls” day!

Erileen: We’re having lunch now!

Hannah: Ohhhhhhh!

Larenbeka: What was the most fearsome and revolting thing that happened to you in the Caves?

Hannah: *shudders and dabs mascara* Well, once I was like, jumping from this ledge and I missed and…and…*looks at freshly manicured nails* I broke a nail! It took two weeks to grow back! *sobs pitifully and puts her head on Erileen’s shoulder*

Erileen: *forces a smile and gives a face as if she just ate ten Chocolate Fish Pops* There, there…all is well now!

Hannah: It was sooo tragic! Oh, the horror of the pure memory! *disdainfully lets out a pathetic yelp and sags onto Larenbeka, a state to see (not our normal hero, eh?)*

Larenbeka: So, Hannah, have you ever had to deal with betrayal?

Hannah: Well, speaking of, my ex-best friend, Yolanda the Cybunny (I’ve always hated that name; who’d name their pet, Yolanda?) betrayed me at a very important fashion show. I was totally going to win, but then she brought out this hand-sewn sundress and WON! What a loser!

Erileen: Wait…you’re mad at her because she won?

Larenbeka: *mutters “Pathetic” under breath*

Hannah: *gazes at self in compact* Well, you know, friends don’t let friends ruin their chances of winning!

Erileen: *roll eyes* Next question: I know most of our teen readers are dying to know…what do you consider “in”, clothing-wise?

Hannah: Fluffy green skirts, blouses, vests…it’s all the rage in the Lost Desert! Here’s another tip, some “don’ts” include: Kanrik. I mean, the whole thing is just nasty looking! Torn cloak? What is with that robe? And the hood covering the eyes…sooo Year Three! I mean, honestly, how can he go out in public like that? And black is completely, like, not the new pink! He has to keep up!

Larenbeka: *chuckles incredulously and desperately tries to disguise as coughing (the observant Hannah takes no notice)*

Erileen: Now, most Usuls don’t have hair, are we correct?

Hannah: Like, totally! I told you I was special! *preens*

Larenbeka: How did you end up with hair?

Hannah: Well, I was in the Pirate Caves and I was frantically running from skeletons when I tripped and my bag split open and out fell my Hair-Growing Potion. It shattered and trickled down my hairline. Brown locks sprouted wildly! And, like, yeah!

Erileen: What is your biggest dream?

Hannah: I want to be a Usuki Girl! *sings* I’m Usuki Girl, in Usuki world, I’m covered in glitt-er, and never bitter! You can put my makeup on, and dress me for the prommmm! Then we’ll have a great time, just you and meeee! Imagination it’s our inspiration!

Both: *mouths open in disgust and shock and horror*

Hannah: *Hums the Usuki song*

Larenbeka: Although that was entirely interesting, we must move on! So, which is your favorite? The Pirate Caves or the Ice Caves?

Hannah: Well, I looked better in my stylish skirt in the Pirate Caves, and I didn’t have to do much “action”. Plus, I grew my lovely hair there…how can I not love it?

Erileen: I know you have collected a lot of rivalries over the years…who do you consider your “arch-nemesis?”

Hannah: Well, you know that game, “Coconut Shy?” That ugly old thing that runs it? Yeah? Totally him! I mean, those pants and that wart…it makes a girl want to shriek in horror! *shrieks in horror*

Larenbeka: You can’t just judge people by their looks! *stares in outrage* Haven’t you met any other terrible people in your adventurous experiences?

Hannah: Umm…no!

Larenbeka: *sighs* Next question…what is your deepest, darkest secret?

Hannah: *Puts hand over mouth and looking from girl to girl* Well…I’ve never told anyone this and personally…I think it’s quite shameful.*presses lips together and rolls eyes upward as if to block the memory* But if you insist…

Larenbeka: Do we?

Hannah: *ignores and continues* Once…it was early in the morning. I had to go to the Pirate Caves at, like, three AM! So I wanted to read my fashion magazine, Teen Usuls, first. I did my hair and make-up and I went outside and then I realized…I had forgotten to put on mascara! *sobs*

Erileen: *sarcastically* You poor, poor soul…*rolls eyes*

Larenbeka: Well, what is your favorite thing to do….please try to be serious!

Hannah: Oh! This is such a dilemma! I’m torn between singing my favorite Usuki Girl song and going to the Salon…*ponders with fretful indecisiveness*

Erileen: *mocking* Oh my good golly gosh! We should totally meet at the salon some time! Seriously Hannah, do you ever think of anything besides your hair?

Hannah: What else is there to think of?

Larenbeka: What is your pet peeve, Hannah?

Hannah: *without thinking* Cowlicks, split ends, and drippy mascara!

Erileen: *falls over laughing*

Larenbeka: That’s your pet peeve? Honestly, you of all people, have had to endure bitter people, cold dank caverns, dungeons and flying skulls and your pet peeve is drippy mascara? * roll eyes with sheer abhorrence*

Hannah: Have you ever tried to chase evil villains with drippy mascara? It is so distracting!

Erileen: On to the next question…what’s your favorite color that Neopets can be painted?

Hannah: Pink! Pink is, like, totally the new red! What other color is worth being painted…honestly?

Larenbeka: * gives Hannah a perplexed look* What goes on in your girlish mind?!

Hannah: Well, sometimes I think about clothes, and sometimes I think about music…oh, yeah, and occasionally I think about catching those villains…but I always think about my hair!

Erileen: Are you familiar with the concept of sarcasm?

Hannah: Like, oh my gosh! I’m totally not! Can you explain it to me? It would be ever so nice of you. * nods and smiles expectantly*

Erileen: Let’s not and say we did.

Larenbeka: Is it possible that you have a motto not concerning something….let’s shoot for the impossible here, hair and makeup?

Hannah: When shoe shopping, always go with a size smaller than what you need…big shoes make you look fat! And personal days and shopping sprees are medicine for the soul!

Erileen: I wear a size nine shoe, does that make me fat?

Hannah: Why, no, dear! You are as slim as Snorkle!

Erileen: *sarcasm* I appreciate the compliment.

Larenbeka: *laughing like there’s no tomorrow* If my soul doesn’t require that prescription than does that mean I’m not quite as “together” as you?

Erileen: *laughs hysterically*

Hannah: I don’t see what’s so funny….*concerned look* does that mean I’m…GASP! I’m missing an inside joke?!!!!

Erileen: There’s a first time for everything.

Larenbeka: Alright, alright, next question…how does it feel to be so popular among Neopians? I mean, you’re a role model for a lot of young pets! Is it ever hard on you?

Hannah: Well…no! I’ve always been able to handle a lot at once…I’m just that kind of exceptional person! And having people adore me, and that makes me feel special, and when I feel special—

Erileen: Okay, okay, we get it. But does the knowledge that one wrong move can slip up an entire ego ever make you feel pressured or stressed?

Hannah: Stress gives me bad hair days, and I never have bad hair days, so that’s a no!

Larenbeka: What about when you didn’t have hair?

Hannah: *glares at her with revulsion and a set look*

*An aging green Moehog comes in, shifts her eyes towards all three, and warily puts down a tray of cookies and borovan*

Hannah: Oh, that’s so sweet of you! Give me a hug, you big sweetie! *chases the Moehog desperately for a hug while the Moehog runs*

Larenbeka: *puts her feet up on the ottoman and sips Borovan* Well, that’s all. Until next time—

Hannah: *cuts in* I’m Usuki Girl, in Usuki world, I’m covered in glitter, and never bitter! You can put my makeup on, and dress me for the—

Larenbeka and Erileen: Enough already!

Larenbeka: *weary* That’s our show. Please join us next time, because our “Chat and a Cup of Borovan” will be with—

*gets knocked over by the Moehog who is still being pursued by Hannah who is dragging a disheveled Erileen by her size-nine shoes*

Authors’ Note:

Eri: *sobs* I am not fat!

Larey: No one said you were, deary.

Eri: Hannah did!

Larey: Since when have you started listening to Hannah?

Eri: Since she said I was fat! *gulps* We would like to take this opportunity to tell you that I do wear a size nine shoe and you can’t believe everything that you hear. AND THAT I’M NOT FAT!

Larey: *sighs* Sometimes you can’t just judge people from their popular side, you have to actually inspect it yourself and then make your own opinion.

Eri: I’m going to inspect Hannah with a chainsaw. See ya!

Larey: Wait for me…I have a leaf blower in my shed...!

Neomails appreciated. Not fire resistant, child resistant or stain proof.

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