Up-to-date coverage on faerie wars Circulation: 110,063,541 Issue: 170 | 19th day of Celebrating, Y6
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

A Chat and A Cup of Borovan With: The 2nd Chat

by larenbeka


Also by erileen

Erileen: Welcome back! Here we are for another wonderful chat with an interesting guest—

Larenbeka: Who WILL NOT eat me! *shifty eyes*

Erileen: Most of you know our guest as an exemplary, intelligent, and adventurous soul—

Larenbeka: Or is her bravery a flimsy façade to a misunderstood character? We’re here to find out! The gossip plaguing Neopia these weeks is Hannah’s new game; we wanted to be in on the “scoop” so here it is for all readers! Please give a warm welcome to Hannah from her newly featured game, “Hannah and the Ice Caves”!

Hannah: That is, like, sooooo nice of you! *girlish giggle* *flips hair*

Erileen: So what made you decide to save souls?

Hannah: At the time it was the like, “in” thing, you know? My peeps were doing it, so I

was like, “Hannah, you should do it, too!” And, like…yeah. *smile so wide it is sickening*

Larenbeka: *raises eyebrow* Mmm…my, my, my. I didn’t expect that answer!

Hannah: I’m a very surprising person. We should do lunch sometime and have a “girls” day!

Erileen: We’re having lunch now!

Hannah: Ohhhhhhh!

Larenbeka: What was the most fearsome and revolting thing that happened to you in the Caves?

Hannah: *shudders and dabs mascara* Well, once I was like, jumping from this ledge and I missed and…and…*looks at freshly manicured nails* I broke a nail! It took two weeks to grow back! *sobs pitifully and puts her head on Erileen’s shoulder*

Erileen: *forces a smile and gives a face as if she just ate ten Chocolate Fish Pops* There, there…all is well now!

Hannah: It was sooo tragic! Oh, the horror of the pure memory! *disdainfully lets out a pathetic yelp and sags onto Larenbeka, a state to see (not our normal hero, eh?)*

Larenbeka: So, Hannah, have you ever had to deal with betrayal?

Hannah: Well, speaking of, my ex-best friend, Yolanda the Cybunny (I’ve always hated that name; who’d name their pet, Yolanda?) betrayed me at a very important fashion show. I was totally going to win, but then she brought out this hand-sewn sundress and WON! What a loser!

Erileen: Wait…you’re mad at her because she won?

Larenbeka: *mutters “Pathetic” under breath*

Hannah: *gazes at self in compact* Well, you know, friends don’t let friends ruin their chances of winning!

Erileen: *roll eyes* Next question: I know most of our teen readers are dying to know…what do you consider “in”, clothing-wise?

Hannah: Fluffy green skirts, blouses, vests…it’s all the rage in the Lost Desert! Here’s another tip, some “don’ts” include: Kanrik. I mean, the whole thing is just nasty looking! Torn cloak? What is with that robe? And the hood covering the eyes…sooo Year Three! I mean, honestly, how can he go out in public like that? And black is completely, like, not the new pink! He has to keep up!

Larenbeka: *chuckles incredulously and desperately tries to disguise as coughing (the observant Hannah takes no notice)*

Erileen: Now, most Usuls don’t have hair, are we correct?

Hannah: Like, totally! I told you I was special! *preens*

Larenbeka: How did you end up with hair?

Hannah: Well, I was in the Pirate Caves and I was frantically running from skeletons when I tripped and my bag split open and out fell my Hair-Growing Potion. It shattered and trickled down my hairline. Brown locks sprouted wildly! And, like, yeah!

Erileen: What is your biggest dream?

Hannah: I want to be a Usuki Girl! *sings* I’m Usuki Girl, in Usuki world, I’m covered in glitt-er, and never bitter! You can put my makeup on, and dress me for the prommmm! Then we’ll have a great time, just you and meeee! Imagination it’s our inspiration!

Both: *mouths open in disgust and shock and horror*

Hannah: *Hums the Usuki song*

Larenbeka: Although that was entirely interesting, we must move on! So, which is your favorite? The Pirate Caves or the Ice Caves?

Hannah: Well, I looked better in my stylish skirt in the Pirate Caves, and I didn’t have to do much “action”. Plus, I grew my lovely hair there…how can I not love it?

Erileen: I know you have collected a lot of rivalries over the years…who do you consider your “arch-nemesis?”

Hannah: Well, you know that game, “Coconut Shy?” That ugly old thing that runs it? Yeah? Totally him! I mean, those pants and that wart…it makes a girl want to shriek in horror! *shrieks in horror*

Larenbeka: You can’t just judge people by their looks! *stares in outrage* Haven’t you met any other terrible people in your adventurous experiences?

Hannah: Umm…no!

Larenbeka: *sighs* Next question…what is your deepest, darkest secret?

Hannah: *Puts hand over mouth and looking from girl to girl* Well…I’ve never told anyone this and personally…I think it’s quite shameful.*presses lips together and rolls eyes upward as if to block the memory* But if you insist…

Larenbeka: Do we?

Hannah: *ignores and continues* Once…it was early in the morning. I had to go to the Pirate Caves at, like, three AM! So I wanted to read my fashion magazine, Teen Usuls, first. I did my hair and make-up and I went outside and then I realized…I had forgotten to put on mascara! *sobs*

Erileen: *sarcastically* You poor, poor soul…*rolls eyes*

Larenbeka: Well, what is your favorite thing to do….please try to be serious!

Hannah: Oh! This is such a dilemma! I’m torn between singing my favorite Usuki Girl song and going to the Salon…*ponders with fretful indecisiveness*

Erileen: *mocking* Oh my good golly gosh! We should totally meet at the salon some time! Seriously Hannah, do you ever think of anything besides your hair?

Hannah: What else is there to think of?

Larenbeka: What is your pet peeve, Hannah?

Hannah: *without thinking* Cowlicks, split ends, and drippy mascara!

Erileen: *falls over laughing*

Larenbeka: That’s your pet peeve? Honestly, you of all people, have had to endure bitter people, cold dank caverns, dungeons and flying skulls and your pet peeve is drippy mascara? * roll eyes with sheer abhorrence*

Hannah: Have you ever tried to chase evil villains with drippy mascara? It is so distracting!

Erileen: On to the next question…what’s your favorite color that Neopets can be painted?

Hannah: Pink! Pink is, like, totally the new red! What other color is worth being painted…honestly?

Larenbeka: * gives Hannah a perplexed look* What goes on in your girlish mind?!

Hannah: Well, sometimes I think about clothes, and sometimes I think about music…oh, yeah, and occasionally I think about catching those villains…but I always think about my hair!

Erileen: Are you familiar with the concept of sarcasm?

Hannah: Like, oh my gosh! I’m totally not! Can you explain it to me? It would be ever so nice of you. * nods and smiles expectantly*

Erileen: Let’s not and say we did.

Larenbeka: Is it possible that you have a motto not concerning something….let’s shoot for the impossible here, hair and makeup?

Hannah: When shoe shopping, always go with a size smaller than what you need…big shoes make you look fat! And personal days and shopping sprees are medicine for the soul!

Erileen: I wear a size nine shoe, does that make me fat?

Hannah: Why, no, dear! You are as slim as Snorkle!

Erileen: *sarcasm* I appreciate the compliment.

Larenbeka: *laughing like there’s no tomorrow* If my soul doesn’t require that prescription than does that mean I’m not quite as “together” as you?

Erileen: *laughs hysterically*

Hannah: I don’t see what’s so funny….*concerned look* does that mean I’m…GASP! I’m missing an inside joke?!!!!

Erileen: There’s a first time for everything.

Larenbeka: Alright, alright, next question…how does it feel to be so popular among Neopians? I mean, you’re a role model for a lot of young pets! Is it ever hard on you?

Hannah: Well…no! I’ve always been able to handle a lot at once…I’m just that kind of exceptional person! And having people adore me, and that makes me feel special, and when I feel special—

Erileen: Okay, okay, we get it. But does the knowledge that one wrong move can slip up an entire ego ever make you feel pressured or stressed?

Hannah: Stress gives me bad hair days, and I never have bad hair days, so that’s a no!

Larenbeka: What about when you didn’t have hair?

Hannah: *glares at her with revulsion and a set look*

*An aging green Moehog comes in, shifts her eyes towards all three, and warily puts down a tray of cookies and borovan*

Hannah: Oh, that’s so sweet of you! Give me a hug, you big sweetie! *chases the Moehog desperately for a hug while the Moehog runs*

Larenbeka: *puts her feet up on the ottoman and sips Borovan* Well, that’s all. Until next time—

Hannah: *cuts in* I’m Usuki Girl, in Usuki world, I’m covered in glitter, and never bitter! You can put my makeup on, and dress me for the—

Larenbeka and Erileen: Enough already!

Larenbeka: *weary* That’s our show. Please join us next time, because our “Chat and a Cup of Borovan” will be with—

*gets knocked over by the Moehog who is still being pursued by Hannah who is dragging a disheveled Erileen by her size-nine shoes*

Authors’ Note:

Eri: *sobs* I am not fat!

Larey: No one said you were, deary.

Eri: Hannah did!

Larey: Since when have you started listening to Hannah?

Eri: Since she said I was fat! *gulps* We would like to take this opportunity to tell you that I do wear a size nine shoe and you can’t believe everything that you hear. AND THAT I’M NOT FAT!

Larey: *sighs* Sometimes you can’t just judge people from their popular side, you have to actually inspect it yourself and then make your own opinion.

Eri: I’m going to inspect Hannah with a chainsaw. See ya!

Larey: Wait for me…I have a leaf blower in my shed...!

Neomails appreciated. Not fire resistant, child resistant or stain proof.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Set for Santa
This year Charmed and Indipsi were going full out. They were going to turn their entire hill of property into a rightful place of holiday cheer...

by charmedhorses


The Kadoaties Are Restless
Am I the only one who recognizes this as an odd system? You have a continual stream of Kadoaties, changed approximately every hour, demanding anything they want and they’ll instantly have a herd of users coming to cater to their every whim?

by pk_fire14


A Tale of Masila
"My name is Masila," said the villainous Acara. "And I think you're a beautiful, sweet Cybunny. Will you be my friend?" She stuck one green paw towards Delilah.

by precious_katuch14


About 4 Babies: Winter Edition
Snowmen are smart... Just not all the time!

by baby_faerie104

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.