White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* Circulation: 143,499,168 Issue: 300 | 13th day of Swimming, Y9
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Cleaning Your Neohome - The Right Way!


by ginelga

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Cleaning. Whenever somebody hears that word, all they can do is shudder. Heck, I know that even the thought of a mop sends me running miles and miles away. It's a fact of life: No one likes to clean.

But what if I told you that there was a fun way to do it? A way that doesn’t give you the chills to think about? What if I told you that you could clean your house and still manage to have a good time doing it? Absurd, right? I think not!

For those stubborn Neopians out there reading this, shaking their heads and crossing their arms, give me a chance! In the end, you’ll be on your knees thanking me!

Well, let’s get started. To help all of you out of the chore called cleaning I took the time out of my busy schedule to compose a well thought out guide which will forever change the face of cleaning. No longer will Neopians shudder at the thought of mops and brooms; no longer will Neopians run screaming when a sponge is brandished in their face. With this life changing guide, cleaning will be a universal task loved and enjoyed by all! Sure, such torturous tasks as lifting up a mop and sweeping the floor seem undesirable and boring, but with this guide, your whole perspective on cleaning will be changed. Below, well thought out steps can be found, all of which will outline what you should do to succeed in cleaning. Follow each step, and by the end of the day, you'll just be itching to clean, I guarantee it!

Step One: Waste Management

First thing's first. Throw away all those sponges, those wooden mops, those flower-scented kitchen cleaners, those floor polishers which never seem to polish anything at all, and, most importantly, those scrubbers. It's because of those pesky items that we so seldom enjoy cleaning. All they do is give us an impression of endless work followed by more endless work. By getting rid of these items, you're already completing the first step on the road to fun cleaning.

Step Two: Purchase, purchase, purchase! (For less!)

After doing this, what do you have left? Absolutely nothing! That's what you want here. That way, you can go out, stretch your lengthy legs, and purchase new cleaning materials. All right, already I hear gasps of shock and anger. Before you judge, hear me out! By purchasing new cleaning materials you give yourself a chance to buy items which you can have fun cleaning with. Out with the old (and boring), in with the new (and fun), is the motto here!

Step Three: Garbage, it stinks

Once you get the first two steps done, you'll find yourself back in your Neohome, unsure of what to do next. Have no fear; the answer is quite simple! First, all you have to do is go around the house and collect every garbage bin in every room in the house. Even if the garbage bin isn't full, grab it anyway. There's nothing like walking into a house and smelling the horrifying stench of garbage. Once you've got all the garbage cans together, sort out one garbage bag to dump all the garbage in. Once you have done that, throw the bag outside on the curb, and wait for garbage day to roll around.

Side note: Please do so within one or two days of garbage day, your neighbours don't want your garbage to stand outside of their house for three days. It won't be a pretty site.

Step Four: It's all about having a good time

Having fun is about doing what you love most, with those you love being around. When cleaning, this is especially important. Inviting a friend and maybe even putting on a good tune (I recommend the Twisted Roses) will all do well in upping your energy. Cleaning with a friend while having some great danceable tunes to listen to will each provide an escape hatch for you. The fact that you're cleaning will be swept out of your mind, and instead the good times you are having with your friend will be remembered. Before you know it, your cleaning will be done!

Step Five: Put on a Brave Face

Never, and I mean never tell yourself that you're going to have the worst time of your life cleaning. If you go into it with a glum face, you will have a horrible time doing it. If you go into it with a positive attitude, though, I guarantee you that you will have it done faster.

Step Six: It's all about being natural

Instead of using artificially scented sprays to liven up your home, buy some flowers or get some from your own garden to decorate your house. Not only will they make your house look beautiful, they will also fill your house with an intoxicating and wonderful scent. It's better to be natural and it will give a visitor the feel of a clean and exuberant house. Where could you go wrong?

Step Seven: Do yourself Proud

At the end of the day, it's all about what your house looks like. If you've done a crummy job, you will hate yourself for slaving around the Neohome all day. You will not look forward to the next time you are forced to clean, and everything will turn out horribly. If at the end of the day, though, your house turns out looking fabulously polished and sparkling clean, you will feel absolutely great! You'll feel that your work was worth it, and you will have confidence for the next time you're bound to clean. Hey, it works, trust me!

Seven steps. That's all it takes to successfully clean your house without having a horrible time doing it. By following those easy steps, I guarantee that you will feel better about cleaning and will actually look forward to the next time you have to do it. Heck, you may even mess up your house on purpose just to have an excuse to clean!

Cleaning can be a chore, but with a little bit of confidence and excitement, it can be fun! As a closing note, I suggest you all try it. If it doesn't work, then I guess you have an excuse to never clean again. What's to lose, though? Good luck!

 
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