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Neopia's Best Socks


by susankidwell

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Socks are everywhere in Neopia, no doubt about it. Neopians are playing with, eating, and even wearing the foot-shaped objects. But all the while you are using your socks, have you ever thought that your socks may not be the best for their task? I myself came to this realization a few days ago, when I realized that while my Red Pirate Socks may be nice to wear, they are utterly disgusting when it comes to eating. Well, I was getting a little hungry, so I did my research and found a pair of socks that I could actually digest. Later that day, while I was having a nice meal of Edible Purple Socks, I thought that maybe the rest of Neopia was having the same problem! So I interviewed a few passing Neopians (scaring the Tonus out of them in the process) and found out that I was not the only one with sock-usage problems.

Always wanting to help my fellow Neopians, I set out on a journey to find all the socks in Neopia. After many months of Lost Desert sun, Terror Mountain breezes, and a few rabid restockers (don’t ask) I had finally found enough socks to conduct my experiments. I tasted, played with, tried on, and otherwise used every type of sock in Neopia until I had found the best sock for each use. After that, I locked myself in my room with my Gnome Pencil, Fuzzy Notebook, and a great big bowl of Edible Argyle Socks until I produced an article. I even paid the light bulb in my brain overtime. One great big bowl of Edible Argyle Socks and a new pencil sharpener later, I had cranked out the following list of Neopia’s Best Socks! W00t!

Wearing

Red Pirate Socks

These socks are splendidly warm and comfy. Word on Krawk Island is that Captain Scarblade himself designed them for pirates to wear when they’re out looking for booty! Of course, if they were designed for pirates then they absolutely must be made of sturdy material to protect their piratey feet from the splintery wood on the deck. As an added bonus, if you buy these socks you’ll be wearing the same socks as the absolute coolest person in Neopia—moi! Alright so maybe I’m not all that cool but I can guarantee you that these socks are off-the-charts comfortable. Yay for comfy socks!

Playing

Tattered Sock Puppet

So what it looks a little tattered... a lot tattered... I assure you that doesn’t take away from the uber-special Fun Quotient of this splendiferous sock! Anyways, wook at its sweet wittle eyes! It doesn’t really resemble anything that much, other than maybe a Toesockosaurus, so you can make it whatever you want. That’s what makes it so fun. Just think of all the possibilities!

Eating

Edible Smelly Gym Socks

They might not sound that delicious, but believe me, they are. They don’t really have a certain taste to them; it’s more of a mixture. But what really gets me is the smell. It smells just like my old gym socks after I attempted to clean out my locker at the end of the year! Amazing! These socks are just so wonderful that I advise you to buy three thousand pairs and store them in your fridge. You know, just in case I come over. XD

Most Useful

Magic Smelly Socks

These are the most useful socks in Neopia by far. All the other socks just can’t add up to them. You can cure your pet of Bloaty Feet with them, which is the most common use. But you can also throw them at your enemies; the stench will have them backing off in no time! Unless I’m your enemy, in which case I would pick up the socks and lecture you on the care of socks. But I sincerely hope I’m not your enemy, as I have most likely never done anything to you. Another use is to wear them, although as I have mentioned they are quite stinky so you might not be able to socialize much. Eating these socks is possible, although it is not recommended by health care professionals. Or me. Overall, these socks are quite useful, and I’m sure there are many more uses.

Stocking

Purple Stocking

Of course, I couldn’t find the best socks in Neopia without also finding the best stocking! My results show that the Purple Stocking is definitely the best in Neopia. It’s a beautiful shade of violet, which goes perfectly in almost any décor! Or not. Despite its unique color, this stocking is pretty cool. It’s also big enough to fit some socks into, the perfect holiday gift for your pet!

Best Sock-Related Item

Sock Pouch

Although this is technically not a sock, it is sock related so I will make an exception. The Sock Pouch is a pouch that looks like a sock. Duh. I consider it the best sock-related item because it holds stuff, which in my case would be more socks! And gnomes. But the point is, this pouch can be stuffed full of socks until it is a Pouch of Sock-Filled Goodness. Or an Exploded Sock Pouch. And I just love the pretty polka dots! Hooray!

Coolest Socks

JubJub Rainbow Socks

These socks are the coolest socks in Neopia! Although at first glance they seem to be made especially for JubJubs... well, they sort of are. But that doesn’t matter, you can put them on your ears or hands or something. They are so ultimately cool because they’re just so stinking colorful! And they’re huge and they have little floofeh thingies on the ends! They’re also really warm. They almost make me want a JubJub... =sigh=

Overall Greatest Socks in All of Neopia

All of them!!!!!

Yes, that’s right, there are no greatest socks in all of Neopia! Did you think I would actually be insane enough to even try to figure that out? Well... I did try to figure that out, but let’s just keep that between you and me, alright? Anyways, I hope you weren’t expecting an answer, and if you were then I’m sorry. Sincerely. I am.

Now that that’s over with, I hope Neopia’s sock-usage problem is solved. I hope I have been taught you well, as I am getting tired and I’m running low on NP from paying the light bulb in my brain overtime for so long. So long, farewell, and hope I helped.

Thank you so much to poppingaroundlove for travelling around Neopia with me to find the socks!!!!!

 
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