Invisible Paint Brushes rock Circulation: 177,384,914 Issue: 313 | 12th day of Collecting, Y9
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Don't Lose Your Temper!

by kittykatluver4ever


You are playing Hannah and the Ice Caves, and you are guiding Hannah carefully across the screen. You breathe a sigh of relief as Hannah reaches the other side. However, your relief quickly evaporates as you switch to Armin; you only have one life left to spare, and if Armin can’t jump over the gaps, the two dreaded words game over will appear. Armin jumps over the first gap... you feel excitement rise within you... he jumps over the second gap... you can already picture the shiny trophy on your lookup... and then, Armin falls on the third gap and BOOM! Game over.

What should you do then? You have all this anger building up... what should you do? I suggest not uttering words that shouldn’t escape your mouth, destroying your keyboard, tearing apart your cookie, or things like that. This is known more commonly as the screaming-and-crushing-cookie method. It doesn’t help at all. Follow these tips and your rage will eventually subside. Remember, I am just using Hannah and the Ice Caves as an example, because it really did take a while for me to get my silver trophy and you could lose a lot of lives if you don’t practice.

All of my pets have some comments for each tip, so you can read their comments, ignore them, or slap them with a Blandfish. By the way, when I mention “characters” in this article, I mean whoever you play in the game. I allow you to slap them with a Blandfish, also.

Tip #1: Scribbling

Calmly take a screenie of the character you were just about to yell at. What is a screenie, you ask? A screenie is basically just a picture of whatever you wanted to screenie. You know how you can take a picture of your cookie and it’s still there? The scrumptious cookie, a perfect snack... Okay, I got a bit carried away there. Anyway, a screenie is the same thing. It’s just a picture of the picture you wanted to take. To take a screenie, just press the button “Print Screen” on the top right corner of your keyboard, open up a drawing program such as Paint, paste the screenie (ctrl + v) and BAM! You have a screenie. *insert a round of applause here*

Now, scribble on your screenie. Just choose any color and scribble, scribble until all the fury rests within the lines of the scribbles. I find this a nice way to get rid of my anger. It’s amusing to draw mustaches on Hannah. *giggles*

Firefur: How great! You should see how fast my owner can scribble when Armin fell down into the gap.

Emerald: *nudges Firefur* You were specifically told not to mention that...

Akarvnia: SCRIBBLE POWER! *scribbles like mad*

CoconutJubbers: How am I supposed to scribble? *sits alone in a dark corner*

Tip #2: Muahaha!

Muahaha is actually a level in Hannah and the Ice Caves, if you didn’t know that already. It’s also a method of releasing your anger. Open up the game again after you’ve glared at the awful words game over. This time, however, purposely lose until you can just hear the character screaming for you to stop because you’re ruining their reputation. Hopefully, you’ve calmed down by then.

Firefur: *shakes head* If Armin didn’t jump down into the gap, then my owner wouldn’t have made him lose a million times.

Emerald: That’ll teach them to obey my owner. *nod nod*

Akarvnia: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *coughs*

CoconutJubbers: *chuckles* Poor Hannah and Armin...

Tip #3: Ranting

Not a bad idea, actually. If your character just won’t let you win that game, then you are absolutely allowed to rant. Either grab a piece of paper and pencil and start writing out their flaws or gather an audience and lecture them about why you don’t like your character. Even if your audience starts throwing Squished Tomatoes at you, just keep talking, but you can only release your army of Meepits when they really annoy you. You should feel better after you’ve ranted.

Firefur: *shifty eyes* An army of Meepits? Now, that’s just a completely random idea.

Emerald: Ranting is a great way to release your anger. Just take out some old boots you get from fishing, set them in front of you, and blabber away! You have an audience!

Akarvnia: Army of Meepits? Just what are you talking about?

CoconutJubbers: *hurriedly stuffs Meepit army into owner’s closet* Meepit army? Complete rubbish, I tell you!

Tip #4: Write a Story

This may not be the best plan for those of you who don’t like to write, and I admit I have never tried this technique before, but it just might work for all the writers out there! After you’re done frowning at those absurd words (game over), why not write a story about how stubborn your character was, causing you to lose the game? A short story would be fine, and you could even whip up a whole series if you want, but don’t submit them into the Neopian Times unless they actually have a plot, etc. We don’t want the Neopian Times to be flooded with stories about naughty Armin, now do we? *glowers at my cheering Neopets* Of course we don’t. This is similar to ranting, but you create a little story instead. By the end of your masterpiece, you should be proud of it and your rage should no longer possess your precious mind.

Firefur: Story? I don’t want to write a story. I want to listen to a story! *looks up eagerly*


Akarvnia: Hmm... I still like the scribbling idea.

CoconutJubbers: Once upon a time, there was a very naughty Bori called Armin. He kept making my owner lose the game, so I shall send him to the Rubbish Dump with a Chocolate Covered Onion. The End. Ahhh, I feel so much better now!

Well, I only have four tips as of right now, since I release my anger by the screaming-and-crushing-cookie method anyway. What? Oh, of course I don’t release my anger by the screaming-and-crushing-my-cookie method! *stares around nervously* What use would this article be if I did? *innocent grin*

Really, I myself use Tips 1 and 2 the most, but Tips 3 and 4 help, too! I hope these nonviolent ways of releasing your anger helps you! We don’t really have to scream and crush our yummy cookies!

I would like to thank Hannah and Armin for being my examples!

Also, nothing was harmed in the making of this article. *chortles*

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