A Confused Neopian's Guide to Buying Neoschool Items
So we all know that neoschool has finally been announced. It’s actually coming! But there are so many things to worry about! How will you find time to do five hundred cartwheels of joy, two back flips of excitement, and tell all your friends how your pets will be the smartest? Because before you do that, you need to find the perfect school outfit, decide what classes you want your pets to take, and find school supplies. Well, I know how important those cartwheels are to you, so I’ll help you out. Now, I can’t help dress your pet (my fashion is horrible), and I can’t help you choose your classes (my pets are taking all the classes). But when it comes to school supplies, I’ve decided to become an expert.
Before I wrote this article I did painstaking research on all the different supplies you might need. I have tested them all for cost, usability, durability and cool factor. You may never have been to neoschool-- so I’ll tell you. Cool factor is very important.
With pens, you have a variety of options. The pen no one should buy: The Snotty Pen. Not only can you not read what you write, you’re covered in snot. Great. Just great. Cheapest pen: Wheel Of Monotony Pen. But who wants a pen that makes you bored?
Best pen: Faerie Kacheek Pen. This pen is perfect for either a boy or a girl. It’s a faerie pen, which is good for the girls, but doesn’t look like its on fire too? Boys, nothing is cooler than a pen that looks like it’s on fire. This pen is awesome. It has a handy cap so the ink doesn’t dry out and it’s brightly colored, so you’ll never lose it. Because this pen is faerie made, it helps you write with perfect handwriting. No more zeros just because your teacher can’t read what you wrote!
“If I had to choose between all the pencils I own (I have a lot; they always seem to get lost. I think it might have something to do with that Mynci who sits next to me in Neopian history class...), I think I would choose the Battle Duck pencil. I love the little Battle Duck eraser too much to ever use it, which is why it's still in perfect state. Well, except from those little bruises on it, that's because I tend to bash it on other pet's heads when they're annoying me. It's still a Battle Duck pencil for a reason!” Thank you, Yanamai, for telling us why you loves your Battle Duck Pencil.
Notebooks are essential to any school day. They help you write down what you learn so you can remember it later. They give you a place to do those pesky math problems. There are notebooks for every personality. The cheapest notebook is the Yellow Lined Notebook. The overall best notebook is the Angelic Notebook. Here is Leoness to tell you exactly why she loves her Angelic notebook so much. “You know, it's my favorite notebook, because it's simple yet effective. I always seem to lose my stuff when I need them the most, but this notebook just flies right into my hands when I need it. And I don't need to carry it around either; it'll just fly right next to me.” Thank you, Leoness.
Lunch is the best part of the school day. And the worst thing possible is if someone steals your lunch. That’s why I recommend the Top Security Lunch Box as the best possible lunch box. It's not the cheapest, but is very close to being it. It’s not the prettiest, but if all your other supplies are cool, it’s okay to have a plain grey lunch box. That’s because this is the most secure and most durable, and now no one but you eats your lunch. Fortunate because you know that Skeith that sits next to you has been eyeing it all day. Dan4884 says, “Lunch thieves are a rising demographic, didn't you know that? I need to protect my peanut butter and jelly and especially my favorite cookies from those terrible thieves.” He’s right. Watch out.
The Fire Faerie Backpack is the winner in the best backpack category. This backpack keeps your books as well as your back at the perfect temperature without burning them. It is not too small and not too big. All your books and lovely school supplies will fit nicely into it. It is affordable at around one thousand Neopoints, whereas many backpacks are much more.
This Blue Draik Ruler shows your support for Meridell, an all around favorite land. It also has a Draik on it and if you’re not rich enough to get a real Draik, this is the next best thing. Sort of. He’s a very helpful Draik and helps you remember where you measured to. If you’re looking for a ruler, this one is far superior to any sticky jelly one or a cheese one that might grow mold.
The Berry Ink Eraser efficiently soaks up any ink that you don’t want on your page. It erases ink or pencil, which makes it doubly more helpful than any eraser that just erases pencil. Not only does it erase well, but it leaves a sweet berry scent on your paper as well.. And we all know good smelling papers get better grades. And for a measly 1000 NP you can have this for your very own.
There are not many pencil sharpener choices, but the Babaa Pencil Sharpener is the clear winner. I have five of these around my house in strategic locations in case a pencil ever breaks or gets dull; it can immediately be rushed to the conveniently located Babaa Pencil sharpeners. It is especially helpful for a reporter like me. Constantly writing means many dull pencils, and without a sharpener, I can’t keep writing. And with neoschool just around the bend, your pet will be writing almost as much as I am. This Babaa Pencil Sharpener stands up all on its own, and has no sharp edges, so perfect for little pets. And it’s the cheapest of all the pencil sharpeners. This should certainly be on your school supplies list.
Imogenweasley is here to tell you all about why she loves her Purple Slorg Pencil Holder. “It's a great place to put all my pencils so they never get lost, and every time I need to use one, I look at a cute happy slorg face staring right back at me and feel motivated to write that big essay for neoschool. ^^”
Just because something is a scissors doesn’t mean it’s useful. Worst scissors award, the Plushie Acara Scissors. How do you cut anything with something snuggly and squishy? But these Blue Cybunny Scissors are first class. Their ears (unlike normal Cybunny ears) will cut through any piece of construction paper that might need cutting. Just be careful to only give the scissors to pacifist pets who are old enough to handle them. If your immature pet really really wants some scissors, try the Plushie Acara Scissors. Maybe they won’t notice that they don’t cut.
There were quite a few school supplies that didn’t fit into the main categories, such as crayons, markers, globes, compasses, chalkboards, folders, books, diaries, microscopes, stencils, glue, hole punchers, desk lamps, paint, and inks. The most useful of all these supplies: The Vanishing Ink. If you’re writing a note to a friend, vanishing ink is exactly what you need. If that nosy kid next to you steals it to read it, FLASH! It’s gone. Your secrets will not be shared. If the teacher asks to read the note that you’ve been passing, tell her it’s just a blank piece of paper, because by the time she gets it, it will be.
So now you know which of each neoschool supply item is the best, and hopefully I have made your next shopping trip just a little quicker, because these are cheap, awesome, durable, and lovable school supplies. And remember; these are just guidelines. Be creative in buying because who knows? You could start a new fad. There are many great options in every type of school supply so look around. That is, as long as it doesn’t cut into your cartwheeling, back flipping, and bragging time. No because that would be bad.
This is Kitty signing off. Have fun shopping and don’t forget where you get all your news from: The Neopian Times. We are your 100% reliable news source.