10 Reasons Why Baby Pets Rock
Okay, so we all know that baby pets are adorable. But do our pets really want to become one just so we can brag to our Neofriends? Probably not. They lose all credibility with their friends, they can’t reach the cookie jar anymore, and they can’t wear most clothes! This is a list of ten reasons to convince your pets that it’s better baby, or why babies rock. I tested them on my Bruce Icekid and my friend’s Usul Saphire and they seemed to work on the future baby pets. Or maybe they just felt sorry for me, as I had five Meepits clinging to my shirt. Ow, there’s another one in my hair! *attempts to yank Meepit off but fails*
1. You don’t have to go to Neoschool anymore. That’s right, no more homework, assignments, and detention. Because your pet will be too short to reach their locker and have teeny-weeny arms that wouldn’t hold heavy textbooks, they’d get to stay home and play all day. Just remember to leave out that Neoschool was cancelled and that they stay home all day anyway.
2. No one will expect your plans of world domination. Whenever your pet tries to take over the lands of Neopia, no one will suspect them. After all, babies are too tiny to do anything, right? They’ll never see it coming, especially if they hire other baby pets. Or they could sign up to work for Sloth if they prefer a mean, green, Neopia-dominating machine that is more likely to succeed. Just remember not to tell them that if they work for Sloth he’ll probably turn them Mutant. Then everyone will expect some creepy plan of world domination from him or her and this idea will be completely ruined.
3. Kind shop workers give you free stuff. I’m sure you all remember getting free lollypops as kids, don’t you? I sure do. If you have a pet that loves food, then they’ll love all the free candy that shop workers will give them. Trip to the toy store? Free lollypop. Trip to Donny the toy repair Bori after the toy breaks? Free candy cane. Trip to Tombola? Free gross food that they can throw at you. But don’t tell them that none of the Neopian stores give out free food. Neopia unfortunately doesn’t do that for babies like our world does.
4. You can brag about how you met Boochi. Plenty of pets want to see Boochi, right? Well now your pet can tell them about their encounter with the famous zapping baby. Tell them how he rounded the corner and aimed his gun at them, causing their owner (you) to have a heart attack and fall off their chair, barely managing to take a screenie so they could brag. And your pet could always twist the story so that Boochi kidnapped them, zapped them baby, then tortured them by eating cookies without giving any to them. If they don’t get zapped by Boochi, this won’t work.
5. Tell all your friends how rich your owner is. After all, not all owners can afford a baby paint brush. Even my richest Neofriend can’t, and she has over twice the NP as me! So now that their owner (you) splurged and paid a visit to Fyora at the Hidden Tower, they can tell everyone how their owner is rich enough to afford a 600,000 NP paint brush. As long as they don’t tell their friends that your family is now living on Soup Kitchen soup, this one impresses pets of poorer families.
6. No longer do you have to play NC Mall dress up with your owner. Many owners will admit that they have taken their pet to the NC Mall and played “dress up.” Whether it’s dressing up your skater dude in princess clothes or your snooty girl in a space trooper uniform, it’s highly embarrassing to them, especially if you put a screenie up on your screenie page. Your pet no longer has to be humiliated since babies can only wear backgrounds, trinkets, and baby clothes! Caution: baby pets will throw tantrums if you give them embarrassing trinkets and backgrounds, so watch out.
7. Become a mighty midget warrior! No opponent would expect a midgety baby pet to be much of a threat. Just like number two, they won’t expect your Battledome-trained baby to pack a punch. Whether it's revenge on the Snowager for blasting them without giving you an avatar or Boochi for zapping them to their current size, the opponent will never see it coming. And it makes for a good screenie. Make sure that your baby pet is well prepared for fighting as baby pets HATE boo boos.
8. You get a bunch of fans. Most girls (and some boys) think that baby pets are the kyootest pwets awound! While they may be annoying speaking in their pointless “baby voices,” attention lovers will crave all their fans. Plus, a lot of nice people enjoy bringing toys and food and things like that to the adorable baby pets, so greedy kids will tolerate all the stupid baby talk for a plushie or two. Just remember that this might be a bad influence. Let the fans bring presents at your baby pet’s own personal risk.
9. No longer do you have to listen to you, the owner. After all, babies can’t understand speech, right? So now they can steal as many cookies as they like, standing on their older sibling’s head to reach them. When you (their owner) scold them, they can pretend to not understand. If your pet starts to do this on a regular basis without learning, it might be time to seriously punish them. And if your pet is intelligent and can talk, don’t believe their innocent face.
10. Babies can still have fun! Just because they’re too short to be allowed in some games doesn’t mean baby pets can’t have fun! They can still hang out with friends, travel all over Neopia, play with toys... babies can still enjoy a regular lifestyle that’s almost the same as the one they enjoyed before they were short and cute! No comments here.
So, those are ten reasons to convince your pets why babies rock and why they should become one. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the Meepit let go of my hair. Now he’s clinging to my pocket so I can’t get my Neohome keys. Bye for now! And get offa me, you stinkin’ Meepit! OW!!! He bit me!
Yay! This is my first entry in the Times. Thanks TNT for letting me in and to you readers for reading. Questions or comments? Neomail me.