The Boards for the Bored
Note: The following is the opinion of one cynical Neopian. Reader discretion is advised.
The Neoboards are a magical place where Neopians can come together and chat about random topics. Not too random, however; otherwise you’ll be reported for spamming. It’s a place to meet new people and judge them based on their avatar count and font. Who has never done that? Thought not. Looking to be lent a Bony Grarrl Club? The Avatars/NeoSignatures board is where you can hang out, but look impressive or you’ll never get your hands on the club. Searching for a guild? Post “I’m guildless!” on the Guilds board, and you will be quickly engulfed in a stream of advertisements. The boards offer something for everyone and everything. However, there are a few things about each forum which may be of use to know before becoming a frequent visitor. Here we’ll take a close look at each forum: common board topics, type of users, important etiquette to understand, etc.
Altador Cup III – This board is also sometimes replaced with the current plot (ex. Tale of Woe). Obviously, the Altador Cup is long over, but the teams and friendships remain. A typical board topic includes the team’s name/nickname, whether it be the Mystery Island Yooyuball Pros, the Terrors of Terror Mountain, or the Rooligans. Each team generally has their own webpage, guilds, and entourage. If you did not play in the Cup, you may find it difficult to get involved in these boards. The teams are a tight-knit group of people who have been chatting since July. During the Cup, they were there to support one another during the long twelve hours of solid play, and to keep track of overall team scores. Now the discussions are usually about random things like pets, school, and everyday life.
Most likely topic: Team name + board number + witty comment
Avatars/Neosignatures – It is quite easy to be identified as a ‘n00b’ in these parts. Spammers and naive Neopians are dispatched of efficiently. A high avatar count, rare/retired avatars, and an original (and matching!) font will raise the respect you earn on the boards. During peak hours of the day, these boards move very rapidly. Common topics include lending, font rating, a game called Avatar Simon, and ‘Something Has Happened!’. The chances of being lent items/pets for an avatar rely heavily on account worth. It is considered an elite position to be recognizable and popular on the Avatars boards. Failure to understand how to get/change an avatar is generally disdained.
Most likely topic: Lend me ______?
Battledome – This is a place where having a lot of neopoints is important. Respectable Battledome weapons are very expensive. Regulars in this forum are usually referred to as Battledomers. They have high-statted pets, a large amount of Battledome wins, and all the Battledome avatars. Most of the board topics consist of users selling or buying weapons for their pets. There are also some people trading or lending pets with high training, in order to better defeat opponents.
Most likely topic: Selling some items, list inside.
Beauty Contest – The one and only place to go to vote or gain votes for a Beauty Contest entry. Users commonly put their entry links in their neosignatures in order to draw more attention and votes. The only point of interest lies in discussing or advertising artwork. Some users may ask others to critique their entry beforehand, so they can get an idea of how well the contest will go. A simple post of ‘All votes left’ will make you the center of attention very quickly. Artwork ranges from hand-drawn to computer assisted, and the talent is extremely diverse.
Most likely topic: Spare a (pet species) vote?
Customisation – This forum is popular for those looking to get their pet rated on the customised look. People also advertise wearables for sale, or seek advice of what outfits would look best on their pets.
Most likely topic: Rating pets w/ awards!
Evil Things and Monster Sightings - This is one of the slower boards. Usually people do not actually talk about how the Pant Devil just stole their Lollypop. If someone does, another user will make some sort of sarcastic comment. Discussions are incredibly random, but usually darkly related.
Most likely topic: Werewolf/Vampire recruits
Fan Clubs - This is another forum of random topics. This mostly consists of users who are looking for other fans of a book, person, movie, etc. It is not uncommon to see various other subjects, which you may not have originally associated with Fan Clubs.
Most likely topic: Come, Emos!
Games – Obviously used for people who have problems or a common interest in a certain game. Usually there is a board for Kadfeeders to gather together and wait in between ‘feed times’. There is also typically a board about Plushie Tycoon, Buried Treasure, and the Daily Puzzle. Other topics may include users experiencing technical problems, looking for game tips, or advertising their 10k a day guides.
Most likely topic: The Kadoatery
Guilds – The best place to go to look for a guild, of course. This is where guildless users or guild members hang out. The topics are usually along the same lines, but vary with the type of guild. Upon posting ‘guildless’, the user is subsequently pelted with guild advertisements and neomails. These ads are usually professionally handled, and people are very friendly and willing to chat. Make sure to be specific about what type of guild you want, because there are a lot of them. A commonly used short form is ‘NR’ (neo-related).
Most likely topic: Guildless!
Help – This is another one of the more frequented forums. This is a useful place for Neopians to go if they have a question about something. There are usually users who are refreshing the main page willing to help with problems. It is wise to ask politely and be kind; otherwise no help will come to you. Topics are very assorted, since it depends on what the question being asked is. People also come to see if they can get things rated or to find screenies.
Most likely topic: Question, please help.
Ideas / Suggestions – This is another one of the random topic forums. It is not common to see people with ideas for Neopets. It is difficult to predict what sort of boards may be around, but there is something for everyone.
Most likely topic: I’m doing math hw
Key Quest – One of the newer forums. There are usually people looking for opponents to play in Key Quest, users seeking technical help, or just wondering what the game is.
Most likely topic: Loading problems!!!
Merchandise – Most topics are about restaurant toys or plushie availability in countries. There may also be people trying to figure out why their codes to redeem prizes are not working. This is a very slow forum.
Most likely topic: How many stuffed neopets do you have?
NC Mall – Users discuss upcoming items to buy, as well as newly released items. If something is glitched, it is sure to be a topic here. People also talk about what items they got out of a capsule or goodie bag.
Most likely topic: I’m confused :(
Neoquest and Neoquest II – This is for all the people who are in the midst of the NQ games. Usually there are posted guides, and users seeking help on certain levels. There are always experienced players who have tips on how to best beat the games.
Most likely topic: Neoquest I + II Chat/Help/Play
Neohomes – Most topics are about the new neohomes, and how to set things up. There are frequently boards asking about glitches or problems, neohome rating, or trading furniture. A very slow forum; first page boards can be from the previous day.
Most likely topic: Where should I live?
Neopets Trading Card Game – One of the least used forums. Generally the boards are people buying and selling TCG cards. First page boards can be from one to three days previously.
Most likely topic: Selling ______ (TCG)
Neopian Pound – Another newer forum, but well used. This features a lot of users looking to trade their pet(s) for another. Although discouraged, people usually have a sense of pet worth and will only look for pets that are of equal or greater standard. There are some boards where Neopians are looking for a good home, or have just found their dream pet in the pound. Commonly used short forms are UFT (up for trade), UFA (up for application/adoption), UC (unconverted), WN (well-named), DN (decently named), BN (badly named), and RW (real word).
Most likely topic: Pets UFT, list inside!
Neopian Writers – This forum usually has people looking for critiques on their articles, poems, stories, etc. There are also some guild advertisements for people who love to write. It is not unusual to see boards pertaining to completely random subjects.
Most likely topic: Critique this please?
Newbies – This board is usually avoided like the plague by older Neopians. The topics are incredibly diverse, ranging from rating to dating. Any time someone is identified as a ‘n00b’ on the other forums, they are often referred to this place.
Most likely topic: Tell me ur name and I will tell u what animal I think of
Other Worlds – There is almost always a board claiming Jelly World exists, and how to get there. It is wise to avoid these users, because they may have other paranoid ideas. Otherwise the topics are again random, and hard to predict. There are often users desperately trying to find the Hidden Tower.
Most likely topic: JELLY WORLD EXISTS!!
Petpet Park Grand Opening Celebration – The topics are usually about the missions in Petpet Park, and contemplations about when the vault will open. There may also be a board or two about the Toy Chest.
Most likely topic: When do we get our prize?!
Quests – The best place to go when a faerie is wanting something from you. There is always a friendly Neopian using their shopwizard to search items for users. Remember your please and thank you!
Most likely topic: Fast free help!
Role Playing – Clearly this is the place for all Neopians who love to role play their pets, themselves, anything. The most popular form of role play is vampires and werewolves, but there is a wide range of fantasy worlds for you to enter into. Literacy is valued.
Most likely topic: Vampire Roleplay
Shop Ads – Obviously, the common board topic is for people with deals on merchandise in their shops. Users will sometimes try to haggle the price, but often Neopian-owned shop prices are quite firm. These advertisements are mostly used for items that are less known or a little more difficult to sell off. Some people will also let others know in advance what they are about to stock, and give them a chance to have first pick at the stock. There are also some who are selling off items from their Safety Deposit Box having just received the Packrat avatar.
Most likely topic: Great deal! Read inside.
Spotlights and Galleries – These boards are typically of people looking for reviews on their submissions for contests. There may also be topics where people are selling off their gallery. This is not a fast moving forum.
Most likely topic: Rate my entry?
Stock Tips – This is a slower forum for those who use the stock market. It is not as popular as restocking for earning neopoints, but is still a well used tool. Most boards speculate about certain stocks, and how high their value might rise. Users also seek advice from others on whether they should sell or wait.
Most likely topic: Sell or wait?
Trading / Auctions – Similar to Shop Ads, except used to advertise a user’s trades or auctions. More haggling will occur in the case of trades. People are often offering great deals, or looking to sell off paint brushes and map pieces.
Most likely topic: Great deal in trades!
Virtupets – For all denizens and followers of the infamous Dr. Sloth. All topics refer to Sloth, as his minions plan his next move. It is not uncommon to see a board where the first post was over a year ago.
Most likely topic: ALL HAIL MIGHTY OVERLORD SLOTH
The Neoboards offer a lot of information, secrets, and tips for Neopians to discover. It is best to find the boards that suit you and understand how they are run. Etiquette will never lead you wrong, and manners will earn you much more respect. Your font can say a lot about who you are, so make it honest and unique. Remember that you are being judged by the text you type, and likely by everything else on your account as well.