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Yo Ho Yo Ho, A Plushie's Life For Me: Part Four

by pineapple_apple


"Aye, I will be helping ye with yer problem," replied Vems, "but first howe'er, I be needin' ye to pretend to be a mean, ruthless pirate. Be a scalawag and all for ye too gosh darn cute, and I be the captain so I cannot be into ye cute things. Me crew will be thinking I gone soft. Okay?"

     I nodded my head, even though I was not entirely sure what he had just said. From all the stories I heard about Captain Scarblade and Captain Dread, who were complete opposites of me, I was going to have to do some acting. Vems handed me his eye patch to wear and grabbed a dirty Neopian Times off of the ground. He quickly made a paper hat and handed that to me too. With a white pen, he drew a skull on my cheek and said, "Ye be needin' to remind me to redraw that." He tapped my head, which was now adorned with a paper hat, and we walked onto the ship together.

     All the pirates on the ship immediately stopped what they were doing on the ship as Vems and I walked onto the ship. They saluted their captain, who curtly nodded at them. Evidently, he wanted me to be out of sight as soon as possible for he was walking swiftly away.

     We continued walking to what I supposed was his room, when a loud laughing of yo-ho-ho's emerged from the pirates. "Shiver me timbers! What be that miniscule, puny thing?" shouted a very raucous voice from a pirate Draik. He hovered in the air with a pirate cutlass in one hand and a polishing cloth in the other. He was missing many teeth, which made his smile somewhat hideous.

     Vems growled at him before replying, "This 'miniscule, puny thing' be the most menacing, merciless pirate I know!" The Draik once again started laughing his raucous laugh and shouted, "He looks like a plushie to me!", which resulted in many guffaws from the other pirates. Vems glared at them, which ceased their laughter. Vems was unfazed by that fact that I indeed was a plushie and retorted, "Of course! How else could he be stealin' all the booty and dubloons from e'eryone. It be the perfect, most deceiving disguise e'er! I saw with me eyes him stealin' from a baby!" and with that, we both left into Vems' cabin.

---{A Pirate's Way Of Life}---

     Once we were alone, I thanked him for all the trouble he just went through. "Aye, it be no problem. It be me pleasure to help ye find yer Ketarue!" he replied. "Howe'er, you be a sprog *{untrained}, and me crew will notice. Ye be needin' trainin' as soon as we be arrivin' in Krawk Island. Captain Threelegs be my matey, so he will train ye for free, I reckon. Ye know Captain Limebeard? Me crew cannot think ye be as cheery as he. Ye understand?"

     I nodded my head fervently. Pirate training? How splendid that would be, I thought! After all, pirate stories were always my favorite, so why not learn what it was like to be one? On the ship, while on sea, I spent most of my time in the cabin with Vems. Whenever someone came in, I was forced to stay hidden. I wondered what the other pirates thought I was doing. I wondered if they had even forgotten that I came aboard days ago.

    I never knew that being a captain was so difficult. Upholding a reputation obviously was complicated and involved many secrets. I saw Vems lie countless of times in matter of seconds, without ever having a guilty conscience.

     When no one was around, I was taught how to speak pirate slang, which perhaps was the hardest task I had ever attempted. At least Vems was patient with me; otherwise, he might have told me to 'walk the plank' for being such a humiliation to pirates.

     He would say, "Repeat after me. 'Arrrr,'" and I would give my best effort, but the reply was always the same. "Be more aggressive! Act like yer wild, and yer growlin' at someone. Yer mad cause he be callin' ye a scurvy *{pirate insult}!"

     And not only did I have to talk belligerently, I had to learn new grammar and vocabulary! Vems gave me the book, Pirate Small Talk, which I had to read every night. It was nice to finally be able to hold another book, smell it, and most importantly, read it myself. It was not like the other books I read, which had a plot with characters, conflict and a setting, but it was enjoyable nevertheless.

     After about two weeks, we arrived at Krawk Island, Vem's destination. I was not ready to be judged by his crew, so Vems told the other pirates to unload the treasure and to take it to the Smuggler's Cove. Once they were all out of sight, I snuck off the boat with Vems, and we walked as fast as we could to Captain Threelegs' training academy.

     Once inside, there was a long line filled with a variety of neopets from the weakest to the strongest. Even enemies such as the Chias and Lupes stood in line patiently together, waiting to meet the infamous Captain Threelegs for his marvelous training. I made my way to the back of the line, when suddenly I was grabbed from behind and was being dragged to the front.

      All the neopets in line glared at me as Vems pulled me to a door marked, "Trainin' in session. Do not disturb." Once I read the sign, I turned around to walk all the way back, but once again, Vems stopped me from leaving. Vems opened the door, and when I tried to protest, he would just say, "It be okay!" and pushed me through.

     Immediately upon my entrance in the room, a pirate cutlass was thrown and connected to the wall, about an inch away from my face. I turned to look at it, and when I saw the gleaming, sharp cutlass, I squeaked. Vems shouted out an apology while I just fell onto the ground in a huddle. Vems looked at me with a raised eyebrow and simply stepped over me to greet Captain Threelegs.

     After talking for a few minutes, surely about my lack of pirate experience predicament, Captain Threelegs shouted to a confused red Ruki, "Aye, our session be over. Ye can have an extra point of endurance for it being short." The Ruki left the room satisfied, and it was at that point that I decided I was being a tad overdramatic, so I shakily stood up and walked over to Captain Threelegs and Vems.

     Since Ketarue's family never was interested in the Battledome, I knew nothing about Captain Threelegs. I was therefore shocked to see one of his feet replaced with a wooden peg. I instantly had to know the story behind that so I asked Captain Threelegs. Vems groaned at my inquiry, for he had apparently already heard it countless times. However, Captain Threelegs smiled broadly at my question and began to tell his tale with perfection, without a single pause to think, as if he told it many times before. He ended dramatically, "Rather than runnin' away like a coward, I be runnin' towards the giant Krawk, and with that, he be eatin' my foot off."

     I gasped and asked excitedly, "And what happened after that?!" but before Captain Threelegs could reply, Vems interrupted with a loud, startling cough and said, "That be it. We be in a hurry."

     Captain Threelegs shrugged and limped over to the center of the room. The room was extravagant in size, and off to the sides were all sorts of equipment, like even more pirate cutlasses, cannons and some large, engraved dubloons hung on the wall that said things like, "Trainin' Academy of the Year Award." The room had dull hardwood floors with many scrapes etched in and the center of the room was left empty.

     Vems looked at me and said, "I be waitin' for ye outside," and with that, he walked outside.

     Captain Threelegs stared at me while I cautiously walked to him. He looked amiable while telling his story, but at that moment, he looked slightly menacing. With a snarl like tone, he shouted, "Aye, hurry up! Ye be so slow. Ye need some movement training, but Vems be requestin' a certain type of trainin'. I do not usually agree to this type of trainin', especially for free, but Vems be me best mate. He be givin' me great deals at the Smuggler's Cove all the time, so I be needin' to help him now."

     When I finally reached him, he drawled out the question, "So ye need to be a pirate, eh? Somethin' about foolin' his crew and helpin' ye find yer Ketarue? Aye, it be no easy task, but it be doable."

     The training commenced soon after he said that. For ten whole hours, I worked diligently, striving to get everything exactly as Captain Threelegs wanted. First, he checked my pirate talk, which thanks to Vems, was satisfactory. I still needed to work on sounding abrasive, but overall, I had the general idea apparently.

     Then, we worked on dueling, which was the most terrifying, yet enlightening experience of my life. We first worked slowly, very slowly, for I barely was able to lift the cutlass without squeaking like a coward. I was not allowed to display fear while dueling for that was the pirates' source of power.

      Also, according to Vems, a pirate's reputation depended on the dueling skills, so I had already done a little bit of training with Vems. Captain Threelegs apparently shared the same ideology as Vems; therefore, we spent the most time on dueling. However, despite the fact I already had some training, I was dreadful, for with Vems, I had used plastic to duel, never an actual cutlass. The cutlass was heavier, more dangerous, and therefore I was terrible at the dueling with the captain.

     The rest of the session was spent on the etiquettes of the pirates, which was basically the opposite of the etiquettes of the royals. Rudeness was actually revered in a pirate as well as the ability to con others. There were many tricks in the pirate's book, and I had to learn them all. I had to rid myself of decency, sympathy or any other quality that would defame me.

     After ten long and tedious hours, the extensive training was finally over. We walked out, I was exhausted and desired rest; while Captain Threelegs walked as if he just woke up from a nice, long sleep and called out to whoever was next in line to just walk inside the room. Before following the disco Ixi into the training room, he said to Vems, "He be as ready as he ever will be," and with that, he left.

     When Vems and I went outside, it was already nighttime. The stars sparkled in the pitch black, and when I looked carefully, I could see the flashing lights of Virtupets. I imagined Sloth, locked alone in a room, contemplating a plot to take over Neopia again. Then again, he probably was hiding in some remote area because of his another failed attempt of taking over. This thought made me giggle. Some villains just never quit...

     We made our way to the Golden Dubloon to meet Vems' crew. It was my time of trial. I would either do marvelously and be accepted or do atrociously and be exiled. I stood on my toes to get a good look at the crew through the window. Their drinks sloshed out of their cups as they swayed from side to side from laughter.

     I looked up at Vems when he asked me the inevitable question, "Ye be ready?" I nodded my head uncertainly. Vems motioned to open the door, when I called out quickly, "Don't you want me to show you first?" but Vems shook his head and replied nonchalantly, "I trust ye," and he walked inside.

To be continued...

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Other Episodes

» Yo Ho Yo Ho, A Plushie's Life For Me: Part One
» Yo Ho Yo Ho, A Plushie's Life For Me: Part Two
» Yo Ho Yo Ho, A Plushie's Life For Me: Part Three
» Yo Ho Yo Ho, A Plushie's Life For Me: Part Five

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