Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 174,960,683 Issue: 376 | 23rd day of Sleeping, Y11
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A Toybox Tale

by mergirl294


(The setting: A child's bedroom with modest furnishings consisting of: a neatly made bed with pink sheets, a desk strewn with the pages of coloring books, and a striped toy chest. There is also a large snowball bean bag chair stuffed into a corner, with a blue fuzzle sitting atop it, and a magical hair usuki sitting at its base. The floor is covered in green carpeting, similar in color to the inside of a lime.)

BLUE FUZZLE: Hello? Is anybody down there? Hello!!! Can anyone hear me?

MAGICAL HAIR USUKI: Is that you, Dennis? Where are you? I don't see you!

BLUE FUZZLE (AKA DENNIS): Yes, it's me! I'm up here, on top of the Mountain! Look up!

MAGICAL HAIR USUKI: Holy stuffing, Dennis! How in Neopia did you climb all the way up there?! You don't even have arms!

DENNIS: Thanks for pointing that out, Glitz. I just love having people remind me about my missing appendages.

GLITZ: You know I didn't mean it like that! I was just saying that it would be difficult-

DENNIS: I can't help it if I was born with no arms! Some toys are just like that, born lacking what others are lucky enough to have! But then those fortunate others just have to go and point it out like we don't already know what we're missing, like we don't already know that we will never be able to experience the joys of shoulders and elbows and wrists... and hands! Oh, don't get me started on hands! To be able to actually hold your cup of tea without using your toes... Do you know how hard it is to drink tea with your toes?

GLITZ: (checks her nails in a bored manner) Very hard, I would imagine.

DENNIS: You had better believe it's hard! Why, if I had a neopoint for every time I've spilled my tea this year trying to hold the cup with my feet, I'd be able to buy myself a good pair of arms, with hands and wrists and fingers and everything!

GLITZ: Dennis, does this have a point to it?

DENNIS: Well, yes. It does. It would seem that I'm stuck up here.

GLITZ: You're stuck?!

DENNIS: No, I just said that because I felt like it. I'm actually enjoying just sitting up here all alone with no way to get down.

GLITZ: Haha, very funny. Now get down from there!

DENNIS: Did you not just hear me say that I, in fact, can not get down from here? Or do you just enjoy making me suffer?

GLITZ: Well, what else was I supposed to say? I certainly don't know how to get you down!

DENNIS: Well, don't just stand there! Get somebody who does then!

GLITZ: Alright, alright, I'll be right back! Hold your stuffing!

(GLITZ makes her way to the toy chest, and walks in using a small doll-sized door in the corner. A few moments later, she walks back out and goes back over to the bean bag chair.)

GLITZ: Alright, he's coming in a minute!


GLITZ: Oh... um. Jojo.

DENNIS: Oh, pocket lint! Why did you get him!? Just dealing with him would be worse than being stuck up here forever! No, just hearing his name is worse than being stuck up here forever!

GLITZ: But, Dennis, he's the only one of us that can fly! And he doesn't mind helping out! Just give him a chance!

(A Faerie Kiko Plushie, also known as JOJO, exits the toy chest, and flutters over to the bean bag chair.)

JOJO: Oi! Bilge rat! Where be ye?

DENNIS: I'm sorry, but I refuse to talk to somebody who insists on talking like a pirate!

JOJO: Are yous tryin' to tells me you ain't gonna talks to me just 'cause I be a pirate?! Come down here and tells me that to my face, ye coward! I'll make yous eats your words!

DENNIS: First of all, I can't come down there, you moronic stuffing-for-brains! I'm stuck! And second of all, if you really were a pirate, then I would talk to you, but since you are a faerie that insists on acting like a pirate, I will not be speaking with you until you accept that you never have been and never will be a pirate!

JOJO: Are yous trying to say I ain't no pirate?! I be a pirate through and through, born and bred! You blind o' somefing'?!

DENNIS: Glitz, I am not going to deal with this cretin!

GLITZ: Well, then how do you expect me to get you down from there?! I can't fly!

DENNIS: I don't know! Just not with him! He's insufferable!

JOJO: I can hears ya, you knows! I be standin' right heres!

DENNIS: Well, don't be. If you aren't going to get me down from here, then just leave!

JOJO: Maybe I wills! Ye be the one that don't wants my help anyway.

GLITZ: No, Jojo, don't listen to him! We need your help!

JOJO: Well, obviously yous don't!

(JOJO exits the bean bag chair area, and goes back to the toy chest, slamming the door angrily.)

GLITZ: Well, now what are we going to do?!

DENNIS: Well, I'm sure I don't know! I believe you were supposed to figure that out!

GLITZ: Well, if that's how you're going to be, why don't you just climb down my hair or something?

DENNIS: Perfect!

GLITZ: Dennis, I was kidding!

DENNIS: Well, why can't I do that?

GLITZ: Because it would hurt me?!

DENNIS: Oh, and it wouldn't hurt you if I, your best friend in all the world and beyond, were stuck atop this squishy mountain for all eternity? Oh, how wonderful it is to know you value me so much! Perhaps you should just go and make friends with those hula girl usukis you like so much. At least they have arms, which you seem to value so much!

GLITZ: Oh, don't you go there with me!

DENNIS: Don't go there with you! Ha! Says the girl who wishes to leave me atop this mountain alone! Don't go there with me, more like!

GLITZ: Fine! I'll let you climb down my hair! You just can't be wrong, can you?

DENNIS: Well, I've never been wrong before, so I'm sure I don't know. Now, swing your hair on up. I'm not getting any younger!

GLITZ: All right, all right!

(At this, GLITZ's hair begins to lengthen rapidly, and after judging the length, she tosses the ends up to DENNIS.)

DENNIS: All right! I'm coming down now!

(DENNIS gives the hair a slight tug, ties it around a loose piece of fabric on the bean bag chair, and begins to walk down the length as though it is a tight rope. He jumps off before reaching GLITZ's head, and begins to kiss the carpet.)

DENNIS: Oh sweet floor! I thought I would never see you again! I missed you so! Oh I was so frightened to be away from you!

GLITZ: Alright, Dennis, you're safe now, so untie my hair, if you please.

DENNIS: Untie your hair?

GLITZ: Yes, I need you to untie me. You weren't planning on just leaving my hair tied to the top of the mountain, were you?

DENNIS: Oh... well...

GLITZ: Dennis! You had better get me untied right now or so help me-

DENNIS: Hey, Jojo? Could you come here a minute? It seems that Glitz has gotten herself stuck!

The End

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