Invaders and Foes: The Chia Fruit Bowl
What may come as a shock to you is just an other insane theory that I, the great
Blubborama/Blubbington/Blubbeh/Blubwhaeteveryouwanttocallme, have concocted in
my messy writing room. What is the wild theory? You may be asking yourself. Well,
first ask yourself this: when was the last time an actual great, evil, world-known
villain (or villains) invaded the peaceful world of Neopia? WHEN?! Pft, I don’t
even want to hear you say Hannah and the Ice Caves (Kanrik was not evil *sobs*).
Since I know your cerebrums have most likely bust by now from my endless chattering,
I’ll answer that question for you. The newest invaders and foes of Neopia? CHIAS
(bye-bye Lupes). Bulge out your eyes, drop your jaws, scream in terror all you
want, it’s not going to change anything. Just a slight correction to my prior
saying: I didn’t exactly mean all Chias. There’s only a little bunch
that have been catching my eye and sending jitters down my spine.
They’re what I like to call The Chia Fruit Bowl. The Chia Fruit Bowl consists
of these Chias (since I’m an organized freak, they’re in alphabetical order):
Asparagus, Aubergine, Avocado, Blueberry, Chokato, Durian, Gooseberry, Grape,
Lemon, Lime, Orange, Pea, Peach, Pear, Pineapple, Plum, Thornberry, and last
but not least, Tomato.
The three that I consider the most dangerous out of the group that takes up
half of all the colors that are available for Chias are Asparagus, Thornberry,
and Tomato. Another thing that’s dangerous are my run-on sentences, but that
we won’t touch on that topic.
Now why exactly do I consider these three the most dangerous? First, Asparagus
is Adam’s favorite color and the Asparagus Chia is his favorite pet. In fact,
his favorite is anything that has to do with Asparagus. If you know the creator
of the world of Neopia has an obsession with Asparagus Chia, you know they’re
a scary bunch. Second, the Thornberry Chia frightens me. I mean, look at the
pink spikes it has on itself. PINK. SPIKES. Those two words alone wrap everything
up. And the third one: Tomato Chia. Well, to be honest, I just plain don’t like
tomatoes, so having a Tomato Chia makes me want to puke.
You may not know this, but I’ve been starting to grow suspicious about The
Chia Fruit Bowl for over a month now. It just doesn’t make sense that the Neopian
Gods (a.k.a. Neopets Team) would slave over creating these monstrous (but fun
to poke) Chias. Something smells pfishy here, and I don’t like it one bit (honestly,
what’s in that thing?). Sure, these Chias make look all squishy, and yummy,
and adorable, but hidden beneath that cutesy-pootsy mask is something evil,
something that’s controlling their mind.
Now, here’s the part where I say who’s controlling them. Who’s going to cause
all this mayhem in the world of Neopia. Who’s the one who I’m going to call
Chicken Green Dude next. Ready for another no-shocker? They’re in it alone.
That’s right, these delicious Neopets (don’t ask) are evil and maniacal themselves,
and have been planning world domination one by one, first starting with the
Asparagus Chia. You see, Adam’s had enough of other pets taking over the Chia’s
popularity, especially the Asparagus Chia’s popularity. They’re the one who
deserve all the fame, the recognition, the spotlight, right? Not in my opinion,
but who I am to argue when Adam’s just a few inches from that ‘Freeze Account’
And heck, if you were an Asparagus Chia and roughly about…a minimal amount
of people owned a pet of your species, don’t you think you’d get peeved? Not
in my opinion, but who am I to argue when I’ve eaten one of their kind and they’re
looking for revenge *gulp*.
Now, of course, there’s always the piles of questions that’ll start coming
to me, and I’ll have to answer them all. Well, I’m tired, I want a shower, I’m
hungry, and I just don’t want to answer your questions. Why do you think I made
an article in the first place? To take away the Asparagus Chia’s fame? Well,
*pushes Adam’s hand away from the ‘Freeze Account’ button*
The Asparagus Chias have grouped an army that I, two minutes ago, called The
Chia Fruit Bowl. It’s a bit odd that he would only choose fruit and vegetable
Chias on first thought. But then you’ll realize that you’re an idiot when you
finally figure out why the Asparagus Chia who was peeved decided to group them
Since you’re a bit weak in the brain (just kidding, I like talk), I’m going
to tell you why.
Firstly, they’re small. Yes, seeing them on images might make them look big
and deceiving, but never trust your eyes, always your nose. If you look at them
personally, you’ll realize that a Blueberry Chia itself is only two inches tall.
And don’t you think a Neopet that’s two inches tall would make a good spy?
Next, as I commented on my previous noting, because The Chia Fruit Bowl all
consists of mostly small Chias, this would make them good spies. Chias are known
for having full of courage, determination, and legs that can sprint a mile per
second from those hungry Lupes. If anyone ever noticed them, they could easily
camouflage or hide themselves within their surroundings. With a blink of an
eye, they would no longer be there, or so it would seem…
And lastly, from what I know of Chias, they’re quite fat, intelligent, have
sharp sense, and are pudgy. If there was a chance that they’d be caught, Chias
could begin to act all innocent and happy and fun and carefree. I mean, honestly,
you’d have to be an idiot to fall for that, but Chias know their way around.
So, what could all these impressive skills work to their advantage for? Let’s
do a quick recap before I continue:
1. Adam is mad that Asparagus Chias aren’t getting any spotlight (but he’s
not really important in this article)
2. A certain Asparagus Chia is incredibly peeved because he and the other
Asparagus Chias aren’t popular and only a small amount of humans own them
(his inspiration is Adam)
3. The Asparagus Chia has grouped an army of Chias named The Chia Fruit Bowl,
which all of the fruit and vegetable Chias are a part of
4. They’re incredibly good spies which is why the Asparagus Chia picked them
5. You want me to shut up now so we can move along (right this way!)
Now, here’s the real mind-boggler in this article: why is The Chia Fruit Bowl
spying in the first place? Well, I haven’t really got an exact confirmation
on this, but there’s really no possible other solution then what I have in mind.
They’re spying on Sloth.
Green Chicken Dude is the only other creature (other then the Lab Ray) who
can transform Neopets into mutant Neopets without using potions or paint brushes.
The Chia Fruit Bowl can’t just scuttle up to Sloth and ask him if they can use
his ultra-powerful weapons and gather up all of his machine information. They
need to do it secretively.
The Chia Fruit Bowl wants all of the Neopets, other then The Chia Fruit Bowl,
in the entire world of Neopia to become mutants! I don’t even need to tell you
why, but I will. Mutants Neopets aren’t really easy on the eyes (except for
my lovely Jub), and Chias know this. So, what do you do when you want to garner
attention and be the cutest Neopet ever?
“The Chia Fruit Bowl wants all of the Neopets, other then Chias, in the entire
world of Neopia to become mutants!” –Blubblub317
What that dude said! I have to admit, The Chia Fruit Bowl’s scheme is ludicrous
but absolutely ingenious as well.
So, now that we’ve rambled about it (or rather now that I’ve rambled
about it), this is how their plan is going to work: The Chia Fruit Bowl will
spy in Sloth’s lair for weeks, maybe even months, until they get enough information
to have access to his top-secret machines. Subsequently, they’ll transform all
of the Neopets in the world (other then Chias) into mutants, so that humans
will focus their attention on them and think they’re the cutest, most spiffy,
most cuddly, and most edible. Soon, The Chia Fruit Bowl will be the most well-known
group of Neopets in the entire world (take that Majal_kita)!
Well, I’ll admit it, I’m pooped. Have you noticed that I’m always pooped after
an article? If you haven’t or have, I don’t care! HAHA! Wait, are we on air?
Uh-oh! Well, anyway, after reading this article, your eyes should now be a bit
more wider for the sneaky Chia Fruit Bowl. If you ever have the incredible chance
to meet these enemies, follow my advice: squish them. It’s as simple as that.
Just kidding! *rolls eyes*
*wacky horns blare and article ends*
Author’s Note: MWUHAHAHA, COMMENTS ARE WELCOME TO THE ZE NEOMAIL INBOX OF