Wobbly Food Thoughts From a Wobbly Mind
The other day I ate a Jhudora Jelly. Before bedtime. The item description tells us this jelly is NOT toxic but made out of just lime. So I ate my perfectly harmless, before bedtime snack and settled down into dreamland. And dream I did, such strange dreams about a world made entirely out of jelly. I spent most of my time in this Jelly World's Jelly Food Shop and the things I saw for sale I saw so clearly and they seemed so real I could almost take you there just by writing about it. Let me describe some of the weird and wonderful Jelly Foods I dreamed of.
1: Lime Jelly Burger
(Oh yes, readers, this dream was so real to me I can tell you the flavours as well as the sights.)
I could see the shape of this burger, I could see the lettuce, the meat, even the little tomato. The design on this burger was so perfect. It was also green and wobbly. If you have ever dreamed of going to your favourite fast food shop and ordering jelly as your main meal or a burger as your dessert, this would be the perfect burger for you.
2: Orange Jelly Sandwich
This masterpiece I saw was clearly meant to replicate a cheese sandwich. Not so impressive as the burger as it sort of looked like four thin square layers of orange jelly one on top of the other. Still, a sandwich made from jelly that tastes of orange is an interesting idea all the same. I also remember the jelly shopkeeper telling me how it being both a cheese sandwich and an orange sandwich meant it was both an excellent way of getting both calcium and vitamin C.
3: Apple Jelly Apple
I did like this item. It was a green apple if you were wondering. What I found so appealing about this Apple Jelly Apple was that it seemed a soft alternative for apple lovers who these days may be lacking in teeth. And it looked and tasted so real. They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away (unless you are a Kyrii) and this Apple Jelly Apple comes with all the same benefits.
4: Black Currant Jelly Hot Dog
This was one that puzzled me. I wasn't sure that blackcurrants and hotdogs should go together really, or that the bun and the sausage should taste the same. One advantage, I suppose, was as both bun and sausage were jellied together you couldn't lose the sausage as you bit into the bun as I have seen happen many times outside Hubert's Hot Dogs. I also noticed the price on this one (Have I mentioned yet how this dream was so vivid I saw prices?) was rather more than any of the other items I saw. Maybe items get more expensive the weirder they get?
5: Jelly Cabbage
Jelly Health food - How AMAZING is that? It was a purple cabbage and it tasted like cabbage and I was assured that it was as healthy as a real cabbage as it was made from the juice of a boiled cabbage. Is making health food in jelly form the way to encourage healthy eating we have all been looking for?
6: Jelly Celery
Another healthy - jelly food. Again as healthy as the real thing. I don't like celery much on its own. I would rather it was in something or being dipped in something. I wouldn't encourage dipping this jelly alternative into anything because it will probably break off and mix in with your dip but this is one celery I wouldn't mind eating on its own.
7: Jelly Cereal
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Jelly is not something I would not want to be eating for the most important meal of the day. That is the flaw with this item. On the other hand, do you have difficulty getting your family to clear up after themselves after a meal? This Jelly Cereal comes with an edible bowl and spoon. Eat the cereal, eat the bowl, eat the spoon, in that order. (Well, if you eat the spoon first, how are you going to eat the cereal and bowl?) And that problem's solved.
8: Jelly Coffee
Mmm, I love coffee in the morning, don't you? One problem I do have, though, is pouring my coffee from pot to mug without making a mess over my neohome units. THIS wonderful Jelly Coffee doesn't spill and comes ready in its own edible mug. And it's perfect with your Jelly Cereal.
9: Jelly Bread
Jelly Bread is really for someone with a big appetite. I say this because just looking at this item made me realise you want the loaf eaten in one go. Have you ever tried to slice jelly? Put it in the toaster? Butter it? Breaking it up to feed to the mallards? No. If you think you CAN slice in and eat it in bits, have a go. One good thing about this bread is that it doesn't go mouldy.
10: Jelly Ham
The Vegetarian's answer to meat. This jelly ham provides a HUGE meal for your family. Why is it purple? I don't know. But it looks and tastes great.
11: Jelly Sponge Cake
Ever been told "You can either choose Jelly or Cake for dessert" and wanted to have both? Well, now you can. This Jelly Sponge Cake looks like just a blue jelly in the shape of a cake, but it actually tastes of both jelly and cake and it is a VERY generous portion.
That is all the Jelly Food that weird dream provided me with (more that enough, believe me). I wonder if I ate more Jhudora Jelly I would see different items? I don't really want to find out. The reason I wrote this is because the Gelert at the NeoHospital recommended, and I quote, "To get the dreams and any other side effects of the jelly out of your system, write the dream on a piece of paper and throw it away!" If this ends up anywhere like the Neopian Times, I apologise in advance. I have this theory that the meepits are going through my rubbish bins in the middle of the night.