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JHUDORA PWNS


by rock_star_megs

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In anticipation of Jhudora Day, I decided to look back into the age-old Illusen vs Jhudora debate. In one of my previous articles (see ILLUSEN ROCKS), I stated that Illusen was by far the better faerie. Now though, I’m rethinking that statement. You see, I know believe that Jhudora is the better faerie, and not just because I failed to complete Illusen’s Level 35 quest. I actually have proof. And so, I present to you all the 11 reasons why JHUDORA PWNS!

J. “Jhudora” items. And by that I mean items with the name “Jhudora” in them, and also ones that relate to her (i.e. dark faerie items, though only those purple and green coloured). Even though Illusen has more items with “Illusen” in them than Jhudora does, that still doesn’t compare to the fact that Jhudora’s items have a greater total worth. Jhudoras Wand alone has an estimated net worth of 225 MILLION NP! Million! I think that’s more than the price of all of Illusen’s items added up. Sure, Illusen has a hot dog named and styled after her (see Illusen Day hot dog), but Jhudora has Jhudoras Achyfi! Who doesn’t love Achyfi? (Probably only Illusen.) As you see, Jhudora wins this round by having the more expensive items.

H. Home. Now, in my Illusen article, I might have said that Illusen has the better home. But on second thought, I think Jhudora has it right. Sure, she lives on a dark and menacing-looking cloud, but that’s probably to scare off potential neighbours from setting up homes right beside her. Some people like their peace and quiet, after all. While Illusen has to deal with cheese, flying arrows and really bad jokes (not to mention King Skarl's loud laughing), Jhudora just sits peacefully on the cloud she calls home. True, she has those crazy Faerie racers (extreme or non-extreme) who zoom past her house, but she also has the discarded grundo plushie, which doesn’t say much, and the Rainbow Fountain Faerie, who only gets visitors once in a blue moon, if at all (I have yet to visit her for a quest, *hint hint, Fountain Faerie*). So when you think about it, Jhudora has a better home.

U. Usuki doll, Jhudora. Let’s face it: anyone who’s anyone in Neopia has a Usuki doll modelled after them. Hannah has one, Queen Fyora has one, the Water Faerie has one... even Vira has one! Who doesn’t have one, you may ask? Illusen, that’s who. No cute (and terribly pricey) Usuki doll for her. If she was such a good and popular faerie, surely the Usuki doll manufacturers would have created a doll in her likeness. Instead, they picked Jhudora, which ought to tell you something: fans of Usukis are on Team Jhudora.

D. Dark Faeries. You can kind of say that all of those Dark Faeries hanging around in Neopia (both bottled and non-bottled varieties) are Jhudora’s minions. Well, okay, maybe not quite minions. After all, Jhudora doesn’t do evil deeds, remember? Instead, I think they’re more like her group of friends. They might cause a bit of havoc here and there, but who doesn’t whilst out with friends? Does Illusen have minions/friends? Maybe if you count the Earth Faeries, but they don’t seem as close as Jhudora and the Dark Faeries.

O. Overall quest prizes worth. While Jhudora’s prizes for her quests may not be as pretty as Illusen’s (honey potions look a lot prettier than Jhudoras potions), they are worth a lot more. That’s right. The Wand of the Dark Faerie is worth a whole lot more than Illusen’s measly Illusen Staff.

R. Reputation. If you think about it, Jhudora doesn’t really have a bad reputation. Yes, she’s listed in the Gallery of Evil, but notice that it says “suspected of ...”. That’s right, the key word is suspected. The rest of Neopia only THINKS that Jhudora has done something bad, but nobody knows for sure. There are some hints that Illusen knows Jhudora’s deep, dark secret, but I bet it’s something harmless that would totally get rid of her dark faerie image (and I don’t think she’s ready to relinquish that yet). It probably has something to do with Jhudora secretly visiting the discarded grundo and giving him hugs, or dropping random items, like the Neopets 7th birthday goodie bag (THAT would explain those random events). Nobody really knows what Jhudora does in her spare time (she declined to comment for this article), but I highly doubt it’s some super secret plot to take over Neopia with Dr Sloth.

A. Activities. And by activities I mean games. And by games I mean games that either faerie is involved in. Surprisingly, both faeries do not participate in a lot of Neopian games. You could point out that there is an earth faerie and a dark faerie in faerie cloud racers, but that’s not really Jhudora or Illusen specific. Same goes for the Darkest Faerie game, which again isn’t quite Jhudora specific. HOWEVER. Miss Goody Two Shoes Illusen DOES appear in one Neopian game: Snowball Fight. Is she helpful in this game? Absolutely NOT. How does that fit in with the good faerie mandate? Answer: it doesn’t. Instead of helping us lowly Neopians get points in Snowball Fight, Illusen takes away snowballs (with the help from the Soup Faerie)! I’m sure Pet Protection League-ers celebrate Illusen’s good deeds in protecting those Neopets in the game (and those dastardly meepits), but the rest of us really wish Illusen and the Soup Faerie didn’t pop up right in front of you as you try to hit the parachuting polarchuck or while you’re trying to hit the pets (all in good fun, of course). So, Jhudora comes across as the better faerie in this category because she isn’t a snowball shield.

P. Pet. Jhudora and Illusen both keep to their homes, unlike most of the other faeries who hang out with Queen Fyora, but at least Jhudora has a friend to keep her company: her pet Bartamus. Who doesn’t love their pets? I love all of mine, and their petpets and petpetpets. I’m sure Jhudora loves her Bartamus just as much as the rest of us love our pets. Illusen, though, doesn’t share her time with anyone besides numerous questers. Perhaps she should pick up a Turmac or a Turtum to keep her company. Either way, Jhudora totally wins in this category.

W. Weapons. I know I’ve already mentioned the Wand of the Dark Faerie and Illusen’s Staff, but they’re worth their own category. Not only does the Wand cost more than the Staff, but it’s a more powerful BD weapon too. Not to mention the fact that it looks more like a powerful weapon than Illusen’s Staff. I don’t want to upset any Illusen Staff fans, but come on, it’s essentially a stick, albeit a powerful stick, but still a stick! I think most people would choose a menacing claw over a stick, but maybe that’s just me.

N. Noses. The weirdest of the reasons, I know. If you look closely at Jhudora, as I did, you might notice that she’s missing a certain facial feature: a nose. Shocking! But then I realized it’s probably for the best, well, her best health anyway. Can you imagine sitting in her cloud with all that green stuff floating around you? She’s quite smart: she doesn’t breathe it in. Illusen, however, does have a nose. I bet she wished she didn’t, especially with all of that leftover Cheeseroller cheese piling up on her front lawn. Another point for Jhudora!

S. Schedule. And by schedule I mean calendar (otherwise it wouldn’t have fit as the ‘S’ in ‘PWNS’). Take a look. Notice anything? That’s right: Jhudora’s Day comes FIRST in the Neopian Year. If Illusen is so much better than Jhudora, then why is her day celebrated much later in the year? Obviously Jhudora is much more important, which is why we celebrate her day this week.

And so folks, I hope you’ve gained a new perspective on Jhudora, a much more positive one at least. She’s not THAT bad. With all these 11 reasons said, remember to stop by her lovely cloud for a quest this week to celebrate Jhudora’s Day. And remember, JHUDORA PWNS!

 
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