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The Greedy Kadoatie - an Evil Plan Exposed!


by tooseas

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Neopia is abound with conspiracies. For a long time now, Dr. Sloth has been at the root of most of these conspiracies, plotting and carrying out secret evil deeds such as teleporting neopets from the Neolodge, inciting riots on the Neoboards and hoarding all Neopian supplies of toilet paper for some insidious purpose.

However, it appears that a previously less evil force is on the rise and threatens Neopia.

It is very likely that the Greedy Kadoatie is the one behind the conspiracy known as the Almost Abandoned Attic. On May 13th, 2010, the Almost Abandoned Attic opened as a “perk” for loyal users, selling higher rarity items than the Igloo Garage Sale.

While the Greedy Kadoatie has appeared to have made great efforts to make its involvement in the Almost Abandoned Attic unknown, we direct to you the following facts that point to it as the evil mastermind:

1. The Almost Abandoned Attic no doubt rakes in large amounts of neopoints.

The Greedy Kadoatie is the only kad that wants neopoints instead of food, and it is well known that it will go through any lengths to get more neopoints. If we think about it carefully, the Attic is the perfect scheme that basically operates to take hard-earned neopoints away from users. This method of gathering neopoints is probably much more efficient and requires less energy than appearing to one user at a time and require them to pay by incessant mewing. By cleverly convincing the Neopets Team to label the Attic as a “perk”, the Greedy Kadoatie has both managed to camouflage the fact that the Attic is a neopoints-sucking funnel and to convince users to throw massive quantities of neopoints into that funnel, at least until now.

2. The Kadoatery refreshes on a 7-minute system, and so does the Attic.

Coincidence? We think not. The Greedy Kadoatie has probably studied the Kadoatery timing system and has determined that this is the best way to maximize neopoint collection. From observing the Kadoatery, the Greedy Kadoatie has probably discovered the user psychology that causes a user to hurry more when required to refresh at a preset time, which in turn results in the user purchasing of junk without thinking. Less thinking equals more neopoints.

3. Kadoaties are inclined to like enclosed spaces.

Unlike warfs or meepits, who would constantly scratch to get out of cages, kadoaties are quite happy to stay in small boxes, as you can see in the Kadoatery (as long as they are fed, of course). The Greedy Kadoatie could not be residing in the Kadoatery, as it has never been seen inside a cage there, and it would also be unable to appear in other places at will if confined there. What better hideout for the Greedy Kadoatie than the Attic, which is almost as confined as a cage, yet would allow it to leave when desired?

4. The Attic’s resident is a ghost.

When the Greedy Kadoatie appears before you, you give neopoints to its “owner” to take it away. However, no one has ever seen this purported owner. The only plausible explanation is that the owner cannot be seen, at least not in daylight when the Greedy Kadoatie is normally about. As a ghost, the Attic Aisha would not be seen when roaming around with the Greedy Kadoatie, but might be seen in the Attic, with her ghost powers probably strengthened as an effect of being in the Haunted Woods. Furthermore, it is very likely that this “owner” is not the Greedy Kadoatie’s owner at all, but rather is its henchaisha! This would explain why the Aisha would put up with the Greedy Kadoatie’s evil behaviour. We suspect that the henchaisha unlikely joined of her free will, but was likely mewed into submission.

5. The Greedy Kadoatie delights in being an unlucky kad.

The Attic first opened on the 13th, the unluckiest day of the month, in Neovia, the most cursed part of the Haunted Woods, the unluckiest land in Neopia. Both the time and the location of the opening of the Attic suggest the one behind it all enjoys using bad luck to perpetuate their evil deeds. As some commentators have noted, no other villain in Neopia or surrounding satellites, including Dr. Sloth, employ “that type of evil.”

6. Lastly, let’s face it, the Greedy Kadoatie looks like it has been spending time in an attic.

Although it is pretty obvious that the Greedy Kadoatie is responsible for opening the Almost Abandoned Attic, a large number of questions remain unanswered. For example, what is the ultimate purpose of the Greedy Kadoatie’s efforts? Why does the Attic only take neopoints from older accounts? Is the Greedy Kadoatie working alone or in cooperation with some other villain (the Pant Devil, perhaps?)? Who lived in the Attic before the Greedy Kadoatie and its henchaisha and why did they keep so much stuff in there?

To answer these questions, we consulted a source considered to be quite knowledgeable about such matters. However, when we put forth our inquiries, the source stated: “Lenny Koi died a long time ago, and I need to know where, and when, for my records. You must go and find this information out. Return to me within 1 hours and 15 mins, and I shall give you a prize.”

In the end, we concluded that the source was either not as knowledgeable as originally thought or needs to learn to listen to people. As a result, our questions remain unanswered.

While we further investigate this matter, Neopians are advised to be on high alert against this danger that threatens our Neopian security, economy and luck. To be safe, we recommend buying ear-plugs to block any potential incessant mewing and/or brainwashing and carry anti-ghost paraphernalia at all times since it is unlikely the Greedy Kadoatie will approach you without the henchaisha. While we also recommend you avoid the Attic, we recognize that the bargains are irresistible to some, so if you choose to go there, watch what you click, remembering that refreshing psychology is working against you, and avoid dropping neopoints (since you will likely never see them again).

 
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