Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 180,898,992 Issue: 452 | 16th day of Swimming, Y12
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Jhudora's Sniddberries


by henna1993

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I tossed and turned, fluffed my pillow, tried counting Babaas, but just could not get to sleep. I sighed and got out of bed. As I walked to my window and stared gloomily into the dark night sky of Faerieland, I thought for the millionth time about the argument my owner and I had yesterday. You see, I’m a Kougra, quite a handsome one if I may say so myself, but nonetheless very plain. All my friends were painted wonderful and beautiful colours, well, all except for poor Fergie, she got painted gray, and she’s not been quite the same since. My dream was to be painted Faerie, and be able to fly through the clouds with my friends. My owner had promised me that as soon as she got enough money, she’d paint me.

      Yeah, right.

     Yesterday she was off exploring in the Haunted Woods and my brother Fluffball, who incidentally is a stunning electric color, begged her to take him to the Deserted Fairground. Need I say more? She spent every last neopoint on those rigged games and came back with a couple of Headless Von Roo Plushies and a Chilled Eyeball Custard. Fluffball had been infected with Neggitus at the Wheel of Misfortune. Perfect. I got really angry at her, and then she got all upset at me and sent me to my room. Then she took Fluffball to the hospital.

     I sighed again. Life was so not fair. I looked into Jhudora’s cloud garden next door. My owner had warned me never to go near Jhudora, that she was a dark faerie, who sent innocent pets on expensive quests and then gave them poisonous lollipops which made them sick. Blah, blah, blah. The usual monotonous lecture.

     I looked back at my bed, then opened my window, jumped out into the moonlit night and headed to Jhudora’s cloud. Maybe she could help me with a Faerie Paintbrush, since my owner would not.

      I admit I was scared, petrified really, as I climbed over her garden wall. I had decided not to go through her front gate, as, number one, even at this time of night there were hordes of pets lined up waiting for quests, and number two, I had never seen Jhudora in my life. I wanted to get a glimpse of her through her back window before I asked her to help me.

      As I crept through the long unkempt grass, I spied a Sniddberry bush and froze. I am passionately fond of Sniddberries. I would do almost anything to bite into that succulent berry, taste the tangy goodness, and feel the juice running down my throat. I guess you could say I have a weakness for them. Well anyway, as soon as I saw that bush, I ran to it, and started cramming Sniddberries by the dozen into my pockets. When my pockets just couldn’t hold any more, I ran back to the wall, and started climbing back up. That’s when I heard footsteps. I tried to look who was approaching, but in the process lost my footing and landed flat on my face.

     I looked up and gasped. A tall faerie with a purple and green get up was glaring at me. So this was the Dark Faerie Jhudora. I giggled nervously as I tried desperately to cover up my bulging pockets.

     “Well, well, what do we have here? A Kougra in my garden, stealing my Sniddberries.”

      So she had noticed. Just my luck.

     “If you wanted Sniddberries, why didn’t you just ask me?” she asked sweetly. “You can take as many as you like, and now that I think of it, I have a freshly baked Sniddberry pie, would you like a slice?”

      I gaped at her. This was Jhudora, the Dark Faerie? Maybe I had come to the wrong cloud. I hesitated, then answered that I was feeling rather hungry. She smiled and invited me indoors.

     She had a funny house, full of books in languages I had never heard of and fuming cauldrons and other weird looking items. So she was Jhudora. I suddenly remembered what I had come for.

      “Please, Miss Jhudora...” I started, as I sat at a table in what looked like a kitchen. “I was wondering if you could help me with something...”

      I paused; the faerie had placed before me the most gorgeous Sniddberry pie I had ever seen. “Eat up, dear,” Jhudora said with a twisted smile which I saw, but didn’t take too much notice of as I was still goggling at the enormous pie.

      Wait until my friends heard about this one! I was actually sitting opposite Jhudora, after stealing from her, and she was offering me pie!

      “Come on, dear, what are you waiting for? You look famished,” she said in a honeyed voice.

      I needed no other invitation. I was just about to take a colossal bite when I remembered what my owner had said about Jhudora. I pushed it to the back of my mind. My owner didn’t really care about me; she wouldn’t even get me what I wanted most.

     I ate the whole pie. It had to be the most heavenly thing I had ever eaten. How can someone who cooks that good be evil? I just had to get my owner to make this for me sometime.

      “That was the most delicious thing I have ever tasted. How did you make it so good?” I asked her.

     She was about to reply when there was a hesitant knock on the door. A cute little Shoyru came into the room with his hands full of various items. He was obviously very frightened.

     “H-h-here is the hairbrush you w-w-wanted... and the simple p-p-purple rug,” he stuttered.

      “YOU ARE LATE!” Jhudora boomed.

      The Shoyru flinched and took a step back. Jhudora glanced at me.

     “I’ll let you off this time, little one.”

     The Shoyru gasped.

     “Here is a super nova and a couple of thousand neopoints.”

     The Shoyru looked like he was going to faint. “B-b-but, Jhudora, this is my f-f-first quest.”

     “Yes, well, umm... this week is Be Kind to Foolish Pets week, didn’t you know?”

      The Shoyru, speechless, mumbled a thanks and ran out.

      “That’s going to be all over Neopia,” Jhudora grumbled under her breath. “I’ll have those senseless pets queuing up for miles come tomorrow.”

     She turned back to me. “You were wondering how I make my Sniddberry pie, weren’t you, dear.”

     I nodded and added, “Can you also help me get a Faerie Paintbrush?”

     ”Of course I will, right after I tell you what ingredients I used.”

      I was thrilled. I was finally going to get that paintbrush. All those bad things about Jhudora must have just been rumors.

      “Well, I used all the regular ingredients, flour, eggs, Sniddberries and suchlike, but there is one very special ingredient...”

     “What is it?” I asked breathlessly.

     She cackled and smiled wickedly.

      I felt uneasy. I suddenly realized she had locked the doors. I felt sick as I asked again weakly, “What did you put in that pie?”

     She cackled again and boomed, “THE REMAINS OF THE LAST KOUGRA I FOUND SNEAKING AROUND MY CLOUD!”

      I screamed as she advanced towards me in a cloud of purple and green smoke.

     I opened my eyes. Bright sunlight was streaming into the room, my room. My poster of the Faerieland Altador Cup team. My dung chair which my owner is always threatening to throw out. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. It had been a dream, or a nightmare more like. Relief flooded through me. I was not being chased by Jhudora, I had not eaten that pie and I had definitely not been stealing Sniddberries.

     Sniddberries. I never wanted to see another Sniddberry for as long as I lived.

      There was a knock on the door. “Come in,” I called.

      Something purple and green whisked into the room. I screamed and yanked my blanket over my head.

     “Relax, it’s just me.” Oh, it was just my owner in her new dress. Embarrassed, I looked up.

     “Bad dream, huh?”

      “You have no idea,” I answered. “How’s Fluffball?”

      “He’s fine, cried a lot, though, over the Neggitus Injection.”

     I laughed.

      Then we both fell silent. I was remembering our fight yesterday.

     “I’m sorry I yelled at you yesterday,” I said.

      “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that and I’m sorry too. I promise I’ll try and get that paintbrush you want as soon as I can. No more Coconut Shy for me!”

     I grinned.

      “In the meantime, though, I paid a visit to the Meri Acres farm in Meridell this morning, and look what I got for you.”

      I groaned. It was a bucket full of Sniddberries.

The End

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