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Top Ten Villains of 2010 by Dr. Frank L. Sloth


by jayceedee

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As my experiences in Neopia have increased in number as well as in distance, I have noticed a dramatic increase in villain and their evil plots, plans, schemes and other mischievous acts. As a concerned citizen of Neopia, I, Dr. Frank L. Sloth, have compiled a list of the Top Ten Most Successful, and Therefore Secretive, Villains in recent Neopia history for your safety. If you encounter these villains, I advise you, avoid them at all costs.

10. That one random Blumaroo

This secretive villain is not well known at all. Few know his true name. Despite this secrecy, this villain promotes the destruction of property. Not only does he trespass on private property, but he also leaves said property in shambles. We also contacted the owner and have posted "Private Property" signs across the property. The destruction continues daily.

Every day, kind Neopians, such as myself, go to the property and remove the litter. We remove the flags that are left, we pick up the stuffing that is flung across the property...

9. King Hagan

Everyone has journeyed to Brightvale at one point or another, hoping to impress this king with what they have learned over the years. Everyone knows how difficult it is to impress this cruel ruler. Neopians have gone to this truly evil citizen for years seeking only enlightenment and receiving nothing but a few harsh words. They have spent countless neopoints to go to the "Wheel of Knowledge" every chance they get. More often than not, the only reward they get is knowing that they have tried and that there is always tomorrow. They go only to be snubbed by this terrible, terrible ruler who gives Skeiths such a bad reputation

8. Hannah

Although not the most vicious offender, Hannah has altered the climate of Neopia forever. There is no way to restore the previous climate that made life so much more bearable. By melting icecaps on Terror Mountain, she has made the weather much more sporadic and thus more dangerous to the health of fragile Neopians and the companions they have come to love so much, the Petpets. It is a struggle daily to maintain the cool temperature at which the snicklebeasts, abominable Snowballs, and other winter petpet are happiest and healthiest.

7. Cylara

Yet another young Neopia turned to a life of crime, Cylara has "saved" Neopia by viciously attacking the innocent and the meek. She has been connected with the hindrance of vital research by Neopia's most brilliant mind. This research was quickly churning out a quicker, simpler way to receive items that are vital to Neopians at as much as 1/3 of the original price. Because of her interference, mass production may never arrive in Neopia, causing mass inflation to occur on items such as the Super Attack Pea, Plushie Paintbrush, and other massively expensive item.

6. Illusen

"If you fetch me some items from around Neopia, I will reward you with some of these cool things I have made over the years... aren't they pretty?" Although it may seem worthwhile at the time, it isn't. Don't be won over by the cute trinkets that now have little to no value in the current Neopian market. Countless Neopians have bought items worth hundreds of thousands of Neopoints to receive a Honey Potion to be used in the Battledome. Countless Neopians have been turned away because of their inability to pay. Although she may seem to be a nice and wonderfully kind Faerie, she is full of hatred and spite toward all Neopians, and she is taking it out on those willing to pay. She is the reason that the Faeries are considered to be cruel and evil tyrants.

5. Jeran

This rather young villain promotes violence. He has a long record of attacking outstanding members of the scientific community such as Lord Kass (Specialist in Affordable Medicine). Because of this young Neopian's constant interruption, scientific discoveries are at an all time low. With interruptions such as his, we may never find an affordable cure for Reptillioritus. As of right now, a Neopia such as yourself may have to pay up to 108,000 neopoints, if not more, for a mere container of Cactopus Cream.

4. Judge Hog

By exposing young Neopians to acts of violence against the scientific community, this villain has corrupted the minds of Neopians everywhere. From his lair in the Neopia Plaza Hog is beginning to convince Neopians that it is "cool" to attack members of society such as Mr. Chuckles (specializing in children's medicine), The Drenched (marine biology), and The "Evil" Sloth Clones (innocent bystanding lab assistants) and are beginning to see him as someone to look up to, while in reality, he is possibly the worst role model these young Neopians could find.

3. The Battle Faerie

Evil. The only adjective to describe this citizen. She promotes not only the mental trauma of pets, but also physical sickness. Because of this individual, outbreaks of Sneezles and Neoflu are at an all time high, and misguided Neopians continue to seek adequate medical care. She encourages violence among young pets and give them the false hope that they can become productive Neopians merely by fighting in the Battledome.

2. Boochi

This obviously deranged Neopet travels throughout Neopia to 'zap' your precious Neopets. After research I have concluded that the 'zap' your pet receives from Boochi causes said Neopet to endure endless frustration and possibly lifelong trauma due to the sudden lack of intellectual conversation in spite of their intelligence level.

1. The Space Faerie

This truly nefarious citizen is constantly on the prowl to find defenseless Neopians simply so she can interfere in their daily activities with mindless violence. Not only has she proven time and time again that she cannot be trusted around vital research, but she also incites rebellion among otherwise peaceful workers.

Conclusion

I hope that this was an informative article for the Neopians who have never been told the true story of their "heroes". I hope that a bright light has been shown to you, so that you may find a suitable role model for future generations. I also hope that you will take my advice and steer clear of these terrible villains at all costs.

Author's note:

I, Jayceedee, have published this article for Dr. Frank L. Sloth of my own free will. I was not brainwashed, nor was I threatened by the kind Doctor or the rabid meepits in the cage in the corner. I completely and totally agree with Dr. Sloth, because as per usual, he is right. Thank you.

 
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