Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 184,180,878 Issue: 481 | 11th day of Awakening, Y13
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Neopia's Satellite: What Is It?


by _toffey_

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Most Neopians should be familiar with the strange white and lime-green satellite that orbits Neopia. It’s been there for ages, making the same never-ending orbit around the planet. There is no way to get to it, so most space explorers have just ignored it and spent their time at the Virtupets Space Station or Kreludor, Neopia’s moon. But this reporter just so happened to look up from the night sky (while at Roo Island, naturally) and spotted the little device making its usual ellipsis. I don’t know why, but I was suddenly curious about the satellite. Why hadn’t I, or anyone else for that matter, paid attention to it before? How could something that had been orbiting around Neopia for so long be so thoroughly ignored? Perhaps I was the ignorant one. Perhaps there were theories floating around Neopia about the satellite. Was it even a satellite at all? I decided to find out.

I thought of no better place to start my search than Neopia Central. Being the busiest place in all of Neopia, I was sure there would be plenty of Neopians there who would share their theories about the satellite. As I stood on a street corner asking passers-by if they would answer questions about Neopia’s satellite, I was given strange looks and even laughed at. No one was kind enough to stop and talk to me; they all treated me like a big joke! Humiliated, I ran to King Roo for his wise advice. He was happy to help after the recent article advocating the restoration of Roo Island.

“Go see Sinsi the Ixi,” said King Roo. “Not many people pay attention to her, but she’s an interesting character...”

Satisfied with having some sort of lead, I thanked King Roo for the advice and headed towards Meridell. When I finally reached my destination, there was no one waiting in line for Shapeshifter, Sinsi’s self-created puzzle game. Sinsi sat there looking somewhat bored, but still eager, as if she was sure that someone would come by at any moment to play her game. When she saw me, she immediately began chattering away as she set up the game.

“Welcome, Miss! Come to play Shapeshifter? Can’t blame you, best game in all of Neopia! I made it myself too. Let’s get you started on level one–”

“No, no, that’s okay,” I said quickly. “I’m not here to play. I was wondering what you thought about the strange satellite that orbits Neopia.”

Sinsi stopped and gave me an odd look. Then, glancing around, she leaned in toward me and nodded her head. Excited, I took out my notepad and recorded the exchange. Sinsi spoke in a quiet voice as she told me it had always been her fear that Alien Aishas were in the satellite. In fact, she believed that it was not a satellite but actually a spaceship! She confessed that she had shared her theory with her friends, but they thought she was crazy and decided to spread a rumor that Sinsi was off her rocker. All of Meridell scoffed at her and, devastated, she had stayed right by her puzzle game ever since, hardly ever venturing into the other parts of Meridell and choosing not to speak to anyone.

“I’m not sure I trust you,” she said, avoiding eye contact. “But surely someone else out there believes in my theory! It makes sense. Where else could the Alien Aishas have come from? Virtupets? Kreludor? No, no, those places are only for Grundos. The Alien Aishas are in their little spaceship, circling Neopia. I am sure of it.”

My heart went out to this poor Ixi who was simply trying to stand by her beliefs. I thanked Sinsi for the interview and asked her if she knew anyone else I could talk to about the subject.

“I don’t know, I haven’t been in touch with any of my friends in ages,” she sighed. “But I’ve always admired that great witch, Sophie. She is an admirable Ixi... plus she’s more off her rocker than I am.”

Hmm, the Swamp Witch. I decided to take the lead and headed off for the Haunted Woods. Naturally, Sophie also assumed I wanted to play her game when I approached her.

“Alright, saddle up, I’ve got a stew to make,” she said nonchalantly, heading over to her chest of ingredients while her Meowclops pounced around on the floor.

“Erm, actually, I was hoping to ask you about the satellite that orbits around–“

“Sssshhhh!” exclaimed Sophie in a harsh whisper, running over to me and covering my mouth. She glanced around hastily before turning to glare at me. “Are you crazy?! Do you know who lives in that thing?”

Startled, I simply shook my head. After a moment, Sophie took her hand off my mouth and looked at me as if I’d eaten one too many Staring Neggs.

“That thing has been haunting me for years,” she mumbled, staring up at the ceiling of her shack, as if she could see through it. “It’s where she hides when I can’t seem to find her.”

“Who is ‘her’?” I immediately asked. Sophie quickly shushed me again.

“Ilere!” she whispered harshly, glancing up at the sky. “That strange thing glows with the same green as her eyes. She’s up there all the time. That’s why no one knows very much about her.”

A bit far-fetched, but I was in no mood to argue with Sophie with her glaring at me. Maybe Ilere really did hide up there, though I seriously doubted that. I half-heartedly attempted to extract more details on Sophie’s theory, but she honestly didn’t seem to have any. She was too sure of herself to answer my questions, so I quietly left when her back was turned to me, heading back to Meridell.

When I finally reached Meridell, my first instinct was to go back to Sinsi and ask for further advice. However, when I reached her, she was busy with five customers! Too happy for her to interrupt, I instead headed off for Brightvale to ask the incredibly wise King Hagan.

“That satellite orbiting Neopia?” said King Hagan tersely, flipping through a copy of Advanced Learning (what a smart fellow!). “That is a trivial matter. It has been around for ages. Do you question the moon? Do you question the stars?” And with that he waved me off. Irritated, I stalked back to Meridell to consult King Skarl instead.

“That silly *munch* thing? It’s just a big *burp* metal rock or something,” growled King Skarl as he gobbled up an entire wheel of Meaty Cheese before moving on to a heaping bowl of Sausage and Pea Soup. “You should *slurp* to Roo Island. King Roo is a smart one *belch*.”

Roo Island?! That’s where I had started! It seemed that every Neopet I talked to was occupied with something else. They had no time for my silly inquiry. Fed up, I decided to end my interviews right then and there. No one seemed to know or care about the strange satellite in the sky. So maybe you can tell me. What do you think it is?

 
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