A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 189,352,855 Issue: 552 | 6th day of Swimming, Y14
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How To Recover From Missing Issue #550


by ellbot1998

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This article is not only meant for, but dedicated to anyone who's just missed being published in big five-five-oh.

I know that I sure flunked it.

The day after the Editorial announced that "about now" was (then) the time to submit stories for the special issue, I hurried to slap together a short story meant for it. And you know what? I got such a late start on it that it was actually pretty stupid now that I think about it. All I did was take the first ideas which came to mind and started typing about them. Compare that to all the meaningful, obviously-thought-over stories published in 'fifty' issues. And of course my Snorkle slop got rejected.

I started hoping that they'd accept my series instead. It's a story I started back in August. Yes, last August. It's been rejected two or three times a month for the past three months. But it's still been steadily rejected despite my revisions, but I can't give up on a series. It's just not what people do; give up completely on something you already channeled so much work into. Now it's the day before the Five-Fiftieth is out. It's too late now for... for anything. The last thing I entered was my series, which I resubmitted a couple of nights ago. It won't be seen in time.

So now what do we do? Take our socks off and throw them at our computer screens in frustration? In fact, right now I could fling my entire fuzzy sock collection all over my room simply because I'm frustrated and have enough fuzzy socks to make Dragona bloated, but you know what? I won't. I could stare at all of the yet-to-be-deleted rejection letters I got from my series instead and pretend to be shredding them, but I won't. Or I could even print them out and actually shred them, but I still won't.

Instead, I'm writing this article while listening to the radio – and somehow, only incredibly fitting songs are playing on it. My heart is bitter... and solemn... and all the while I'm hearing the words All the lonely people, where do they all belong?... Alright, never mind, some crazy peppy guy just came on. But I do digress, let me give you a few words of comfort if you, too, missed the issue.

If you were trying to get in for the avatar and special item, buy the item yourself and try for the avatar next year.

'Nuff said. Carry on if you were, like me, in it for the honor of being in the most significant issue of the year, and not the prizes that came with it. Can't say I didn't buy the special quill as an investment, though... *shifty eyes*

Five-Hundred and Fifty isn't that much of a special number.

Issue five hundred was pretty special – it was one half of a thousand. Issue six hundred is going to be pretty special, too. But isn't five-hundred and fifty just a midpoint?

Good grief, it's just a number!

Tell yourself this as many times as you need to. Especially if you're like me and already have been published in a fiftieth issue. Maybe I just want my series to get in, but still...

You aren't necessarily a worse writer than anyone who got published in Issue #550.

It just means that they wrote something that was better than what you wrote. We're all equal. We all have strong point and weak points. There isn't anything that defines what makes one writer better than the next. There are only stories that are better than others, not people.

Write about not getting in.

Hey, I'm doing it right now! Also, I entered a rejection poem into the poetry contest. You can enter your laments into a contest if you want, but remember that you can write just to vent. But if you do get in, it will ease your wound. To quote one of the best video games ever, "When freaky aliens give you lemons, make freaky alien lemonade."

Remember that the NT wouldn't be the NT without the plain issues!

Cut yourself some slack if you've been published plenty already. Keep on writing; the ordinary issues make up the substance of the Neopian Times. They're the most special ones of all.

Name an author who you admire, but didn't get into Issue #550.

Right now, I'm thinking of a certain particularly-original writer whose series just ended a few issues too early. It happens to the best of us... and that means that it happens to the worst of us, too.

TNT Staff Smasher. It's there for a reason.

I never have been too fond of most aim-and-click games, but this beauty can be used for inner relief. Also, other video and computer games can be good for getting a load off your chest.

Remember that the editor has a very busy job and can only accept so many stories.

Also keep in mind that you can't blame her for rejecting an entry that you honestly think is better quality than something which did get in. The key word there is "honestly." It's hard to pick nothing but exactly the best fruit at the supermarket.

Lupe Grandma Curlers

Wait, ignore that. I just hit the paste key instead of the bold one. See, I was restocking a minute ago, and I was checking a price... But maybe there is a lesson in the phrase "Lupe Grandma Curlers," maybe there isn't. Who curls a grandma, anyways?!

Attend to your personal hygiene.

Eat, brush your teeth and take a shower. Get up from the computer for awhile!

Read some good series.

I know, I like series. But there always will be awesome series going on, so go on ahead. In fact, this goes for shorts, articles and comics, too. Just get out there and read!

Alright, fitting songs are coming on the radio again. So I'm relaxing now, I've almost hit the thousand-word minimum size for my extremely-short article. The ironic thing is that I'm panhandling for words now, but my series is four-thousand per part... Well, never mind. Maybe I need to trim more of it then.

Readers, if all else fails, well, let's just say that I'm going to clean up my fuzzy socks now.

 
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