All About Socky
It's the mysterious sock monster that keeps the Thieves Guild company in their caves, but not much seems to be known about it. I met with one of the members, who brought what looked to be a Snowager made entirely of mismatched socks along. She introduced it as Socky, the sock monster itself, then settled down next to is as I began the interview.
Q: So how did you come by Socky?
A: No one's really sure. Some think he inhabited the thieves' cave before the thieves did. Some kind of... lab ray experiment gone wrong. I personally think that he was a little tiny thing that looked like a sock when we got him. He got tossed into one of the sock piles, which he promptly started eating, and then grew to a great size. That makes the most sense to me.
Q: So it is a he, not a she?
A: Ahaha, again, no one's really sure. You'll get that answer a lot when you ask origin questions and such. We sort of just started calling him a he, and he never seemed to mind. Though if he turned out to be a she, I don't think anyone would mind. We're just glad he or she has stuck around to keep us company in the cave. It gets really cold and lonely in there sometimes!
Q: He seems very docile, for a monster.
A: He's with a guild member. Though for a while, when we first realized he was in the cave, he was pretty vicious! We didn't know what to do. He was eating socks left and right, and terrorizing anyone who came near him. He had to corral him into a pit that we threw socks down into for a while. That only made him get bigger and scarier, of course. Then one day Kanrik walked in on the chaos of Socky ruling the roost, as they say, and decided that would simply not do. He walked right up to Socky, didn't flinch when the monster tried to knock him out with his stink breath, and put a hand on his muzzle. "Don't do that," he said. That's all it took! "Don't do that." I still can't believe it. I wish we'd thought of that before Kanrik had to step in to help. Anyway, as long as a guild member's around to keep him calm, he's as cuddly as an Angelpuss. And better to cuddle too, cause more than one person can cuddle him at once!
Q: Does Kanrik like Socky?
A: He doesn't like or dislike him, the way he doesn't like or dislike our stealing socks. I think he's sees it the way one's father might see a Doglefox following their kid home one night after school. You know, he gets home from work, and there's this teary-eyed kid holding up their new friend, silently begging him to let them keep it. Of course, for us it was a little bit different, since Kanrik had been gone a few days when he found Socky, and also, like I said, Socky was terrorizing us at the time, but deep down, he knew if he told us Socky had to leave, we'd be really sad. And hey, come on, it's not like we don't have enough socks to feed him. We all take good care of him, so Kanrik lets him stay.
Q: Does he eat anything other than socks?
A: We tried giving him coffee once. He took one sip and backed away to the back of the cave. Too bitter, I guess. Maybe some day if I'm feeling brave enough, I'll see if he wants to try some with milk or sugar. I think someone tried to give him coco we snagged from The Sway... that got messy. Suffice to say, no one's ever tried that again.
Q: Is he related to the Snowager?
A: Maybe! It wouldn't surprise me. He guards a pile of stuff like the Snowager. The Snowager guards a ton of stuff, and Socky guards socks. And rather than icy breath, he as stink breath. He's not as mean as the Snowager, though. He'll let you sleep in his sock pile, or if you are very nicely, he'll let you take a couple of his socks.
Q: Does he ever sleep like the Snowager?
A: He hardly slept before. Then we found out he loves bed time books. Any kind of book will do. I've read him a book I stole from the Seekers, An In-Depth Look at Quantum Physics, and he loved it. I didn't understand most of it myself, but he thoroughly enjoyed it. He tried to stay awake through the whole thing, but it must have been a thousand pages long. I still have it on the bookshelf to read to him another time.
Q: I'd imagine he's very intelligent, then!
A: I'd say so! He's learned the cave layout pretty well. He's also learned not to go near Midnight until she's had at least one cup of coffee. He picks out his own books from the bookshelf. Even the fact that he understands what we're saying is amazing for something that can't talk back!
Q: No one minds his smell?
A: A couple new recruits go off to spray him with anti-smell spray. He ends up smelling like flowers and fruits. I personally think he smells fine; I mean, the entire cave smells like socks. You get used to it, you learn to love it. I step outside and breathe fresh air, and it just lacks that wonderful odor. But you can't expect everyone to feel that way at the beginning of their stay with the thieves, you know? He's a good sport about it, too. He'll let anyone spray him with sweet-smelling things as long as he doesn't end up sticky or starchy.
Q: Does anyone claim ownership to Socky?
A: Nope! No, he's the collective pet and responsibility of the entire Guild. Some people visit him and snuggle with him more often than others, but we all love and take good care of him.