Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 192,704,602 Issue: 657 | 8th day of Hiding, Y16
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Osmious's Paint-staking Research


by ag1228l

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Okay, Osmious thought. The paint comes out fast when I activate the brush, but I've done this before. I just have to work quickly.

     He braced himself and held the test tube to the tip of the ghost paint brush. The paint began to flow out, and...

     Drip. Osmious felt something fall on his arm.

     "Ah! Ah! Get it off! I don't want to be a ghost," he cried. He dropped the brush and test tube into the sink and wiped at his arm furiously. Thankfully, he'd been wearing a lab coat, but it was a close call. Osmious had no interest in turning into a ghost after he had worked so hard to become a fire Poogle.

     Osmious looked back at the sink. The ghost paint brush was still dropping, despite a drop being enough to change a neopet's color. Perhaps it wanted to be sure things were done right. What would happen if a neopet didn't completely change color? Maybe that was how split had originated. Despite his carelessness, he'd managed to catch a few drops of paint in the test tube. It wasn't nearly enough to experiment with freely though.

     He was tired of almost staining himself every time he activated a paint brush. Sure, they weren't exactly made to be convenient for research, but everything needs to have research done on it! It was time to stop being lazy and get himself a fire paint brush. That way, he wouldn't have to worry about accidentally changing his color.

     Osmious was a little upset that he actually had to go out into the light, but he figured he could be back in his underground lab in no time.

     Unfortunately, when he arrived at the Trading Post he discovered he would have to change his plans.

     He approached Jhuidah at the counter and said, "I'm looking for a fire paint brush, please."

     She rummaged around through some papers. "I'm sorry. I could not find any lots fitting that description."

     What? That struck Osmious as curious. Someone was always trading a fire paint brush. Oh, perhaps he needed to call it by the proper name. What was it again? "Actually, I meant I'm looking for a fire, fire, your pants on fire paint brush." Osmious felt a little awkward saying that, but he hoped she would return with a few lots this time.

     "Sorry. The answer is still the same."

     Osmious had been sure using the proper name would change her response. What was he to do now?

     "Maybe you could head over to the auction house and see if any are being sold there," Jhuidah suggested. "Sometimes people claim my trading post is a little slow. Silly of them, right?" Osmious forced a laugh. He totally couldn't see why people thought that. Still, he decided to follow her advice.

     Once at the auctions, he was careful to use the proper name for the paint brush when talking to the Auction Genie. Osmious was incredibly relieved to see two results.

     But upon closer inspection, both items were no good. One was a neofriends only auction, and the other had over twenty four hours left. Why me? Osmious thought. Sure, he could wait twenty four hours for his paint brush, but what if there were forty eight hours left? Or perhaps longer. He was sure he could find a fire paint brush before the action closed. He thanked the auction genie and tried to think of different ways to acquire a paint brush.

     Dailies were a good place to start, right? Osmious vaguely remembered receiving a biscuit paint brush from the Fruit Machine a long time ago, so he decided to start there.

     It wasn't a long walk to Lost Desert, thank goodness. He spun the wheel. Tchea fruit, come on... Yes, another tchea fruit... No! Not a bagguss! Osmious rubbed his face. "Congratulations!" the machine read. "You have won 250 NP! You also win: tchea fruit."

     "I don't want your stupid tchea fruit!" Osmious yelled. "I want a paint brush." He positioned the tchea fruit the machine had given him in front of the picture of the bagguss. "There. Three tchea fruits. Now where's my paint brush?" Unfortunately, the Fruit Machine did not respond. "Gah." Osmious marched off to try his luck at something else.

     The Alien Aisha Vending Machine was rumored to hand out paint brush prizes, and Osmious had been waiting for an opportunity to try it. He went back to the Trading Post and bought a few nerkmids. He hoped he would win his brush before he ran out because that was the end of his neopoints. He'd have to resort to drastic measures if this didn't work.

     Once at the vending machine, he carefully selected a pattern of buttons and levers that appealed to him. He heard a whirring sound, and an item fell out.

     "You have won 237 NP and some yummy food, Octopus Ice Cream Platter."

     Osmious winced. It looked disgusting.

     "I hope you enjoy your tasty treat."

     Osmious wasn't amused. "First, it does not look tasty. Secondly, you're going to give me a paint brush this time." He jabbed his next nerkmid in the machine.

     Soon, he had nothing left except a pile of gross food and some spare change. Osmious realized he had no choice. The only way he could possibly find a paint brush cheap enough would be to head to the marketplace.

     Most of the marketplace shops were obscured from view, so Osmious couldn't see what they were selling until he stepped inside. Venders called out at Osmious, asking him what items he needed for his faerie quest. "I'm not on a quest for a faerie," he replied. But they only called after him more forcefully.

     Finally, he found what he was looking for.

     "Wanna buy a paint brush, kid?" a stealthy Shoyru asked.

     "Surprisingly, yes," Osmious replied. "I'm shocked anyone in this place might actually have what I'm looking for."

     "Well, you came to the right place. What type are you looking for? Baby, island? You look like you'd like a-"

     "A fire paint brush, please."

     "Oh, of course. I've got one of those. Actually, I've got a couple of those, but you're only looking to buy one, correct?" Osmious nodded, but the Shoyru was too busy digging through the shelves. Thankfully, he didn't ask Osmious why he wanted a fire paint brush when he was already painted fire. All Osmious wanted to do was get out of here as fast as possible.

     "How much is it?" he asked.

     The Shoyru thought for a moment. "How many neopoints do you have on you?"

     Osmious was taken aback. What a weird question. "Not many. I've just spent the day nerking, you see."

     "Not a problem. I suppose I could sell it to you for 100K. You have that much?"

     Osmious emptied his pockets and his bag. "Uh, I've got 54K and several pounds of gross food."

     "Done." The Shoyru snatched it up and handed him a wrapped up package. "Could I interest you in something else?"

     "No thank you," Osmious said, and he ran straight back to his lab.

     Osmious relaxed in his chair, his heart still racing from his experience in the market place. Time to unwrap his prize. He pulled of the tissue, and his heart sunk. It wasn't a fire paint brush the Shoyru had sold him, but a fire brush plushie.

     "I am so painting that Shoyru pink the next time I see him."

The End

 
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