The Ten Best Greeting Cards to Send to a Neofriend
It’s Year 17; simple thank you cards and get well soon cards are so overdone. You don’t want to be just like everyone else, do you? If you’d rather appear unique and be the most hilarious and witty and desirable and generous Neofriend a kacheek could ever beg for, you’ll need to send the most inspired and amazing greeting cards to flaunt your brilliance. Coltzan once said that the greeting card is the window to the wit. Lord Kass is even rumoured to maintain that “gift cards are such convenient little pieces of paper that convey the absolute truth without having to actually converse with anyone.” Wow—truly inspired! If you want to send feelings to your Neofriends in the coolest way, forget Neomail. A greeting card is the now coolest, most effective way to get your true feelings across!
Accompaniment Greeting Card
Description: “A greeting card for your greeting card. Just in case one wasn’t enough.”
Have you ever sent a greeting card to a good Neofriend and thought, “No way! My Neofriend is so special and cool, this could never do! I simply must purchase another!” For those situations where just one card looks like you didn’t quite try hard enough, send an accompaniment gift card to show your Neofriend you’re a keeper because you went through the trouble of buying multiple cards.
Card of Apology
Description: “When I’m sorry just isn’t enough, this card might suffice.”
The traditional “I’m so sorry for what I’ve done, and I know it was wrong to hurt your feelings” is quite overplayed. Those words mean nothing anymore! Instead, send your Neofriend with whom you’re bickering this Card of Apology. The word apology means you are automatically granted forgiveness. It’s that easy! Plus, you can tell your Neofriend you made the exact same embarrassed face as the one on the front of the card without having to strain your own cheeks! It’s so simple.
Deceptive Greeting Card
Description: “You expect a card full of warm wishes but instead get a face full of warm pie.”
You’re really tired of your Neofriend’s attitude toward you. Perhaps you can teach your Neofriend a lesson—take nothing for granted. The best way to give your friend an attitude check is to send them this card. They’ll expect a heartfelt note, but will instead get a face full of warm pie. There is absolutely no way your friend will be upset with you, because not only did you teach her a valuable lesson, but you also got her a free pie! Any friend who does not thank you for free pie is likely ungrateful.
Have Fun! Card
Description: “You just never knew how to have fun until this card told you so.”
Some of us have Neofriends who simply cannot do things on their own. They’re constantly Neomailing you, asking you, “Hey, how are you doing?” Can they not figure out how to do things on their own? Must they constantly badger you with questions? You shouldn’t have to explain how to do everything for them--the wheel of excitement isn’t that hard to spin, after all! For these sorts of friends who have no clue, send them the Have Fun! Card. Your Neofriend probably doesn’t know what fun means or how to have it, but you could push them in the right direction with this bossy, well-meaning card. Your friend needs guidance, so if you tell them to have fun, they will listen and proceed to pull the lever of doom for 18 straight hours.
Substitute Greeting Card
Description: “You can send this greeting card in the place of other greeting cards you could have sent instead but decided against.”
This is for that extra special Neofriend around holiday time. Show them how much trouble you went through to get the perfect card! There are many holiday greeting cards, but none of them are just right for your Neofriend. None of quite them say, “Thank you for explaining to me how the wheel of monotony works—I’ll always remember you!” Instead, this card will show them they’re too special for the other cards, and after careful consideration, they deserve a more generic card.
Time to Celebrate Card
Description: “If you didn’t know it was time to celebrate, now you do!”
If you got your friend the Have Fun! Card, you’ll probably need to get them this card too. First of all, find out your Neofriend’s birthday and write it down, as your Neofriend probably hasn’t got a clue as to when his own birthday is. Next, on their birthday, send them this card which will order them to celebrate! Excited, your Neofriend will dance around, play a celebratory game of Hasee Bounce, and buy a lottery ticket! You should explain that they are celebrating their own birthday, though, because they might not understand what they’re celebrating.
Description: “The perfect card to give to a friend who is a big fan of Fyora.”
Is your Neofriend a Fyora superfan? Or do you not know anything about your friend’s specific interest in Fyora, but you suspect that they probably are content with her anyway? Whatever the case, all your Neofriends need this humbling card! This card explains how marvelous, flawless, fabulous, and fair Queen Fyora is. Remind your Neofriend that they are nothing like the all-powerful Queen Fyora by sending them this reality check of a card! Your friend might even send you a thank you card in return for helping them become a level-headed individual.
Rejected Seasonal Greeting Card
Description: “The mailman did not damage this one – it came this way!”
Commercial cards can seem so overdone. The NeoGreetings corporation simply stamps a generic, meaningless message onto a piece of cardstock and then sells it for a profit. Show your Neofriend you’re above this and purchase a Rejected Seasonal Greeting Card for them. The card looks just like it was handmade, but it saves you the time and effort of having to write something heartfelt. Your friend will be teary-eyed when they see a seemingly handmade card from you, their new best Neofriend!
Well Done Card
Description: “Nothing says a job well done like getting an appropriate card!”
You can tell your Neofriend, “Great job getting Ice Cream Factory! That avatar is so difficult, and I still can’t get it no matter how many times I try!” OR, you can send them a Well Done Card, to tell them “Well done!” on their feat without actually having to use your mouth or pick up a pen. Also, your Neofriends will love getting surprises. So rev up the element of mystery by not explaining what the Well Done Card is for, no matter how many times your friend begs. How fun!
Skating on Kiko Lake Postcard
Description: “Wish you were here! This was given out by the advent calendar in Y14.”
Show your friend that you can live a rich, fabulous lifestyle by depicting your winter holiday at your Holiday home on scenic Kiko Lake. You might also add in that you have a summer home in Mystery Island, a Fall house in Shenkuu, and multiple spring homes scattered through Roo Island, Neopia Central, and scenic Altador. Your friend will be envious with rage! Be sure to include the phrase “Wish you were here!” to show them that you have time to send them a boastful postcard but not enough courtesy to invite them in the first place. They’ll feel grateful to have such a wordly, rich, amazing Neofriend like you!
Send just a couple of these card to your Neofriends to show them how classy and edgy you are. You don’t always have time to send them heartfelt Neomails, so spend a few hundred Neopoints and get them a folded piece of coloured paper instead! This is surely one of the few ways to show your Neofriends you care while simultaNeously demonstrating your own thoughtfulness and cool factor. You’re certain to get a multitude of thank you cards in return, which you can then collect, resell, and use the money to purchase more important greeting cards!
Note: The Neopian Gift Shop located in Neopia Central is a great place to buy the aforementioned gift cards, but did not necessarily sponsor this article. All in all, sending greeting cards is fully endorsed by the Neopian Gift shop, so you really ought to buy the greeting cards from the Neopian Gift shop, which, as previously mentioned, did not back this article. Happy card-giving!