Conspiracy Theory - Is Fyora a Dark Faerie?
Sure, we all love Queen Fyora. She’s the gracious ruler of Faerieland. She oversees the Faerie Quests that help us pets gain levels and get painted rare colors. She keeps Faerieland running at its prime. But how much do we really know about the Faerie Queen? My name is Creamy_Lemon_Pie (some of you may remember me as the Speckled Aisha who made that one Kreludan Defender Robot explode in Issue 405), and I am here to reveal the TRUTH about Fyora.
First of all, it is common Neopian knowledge that there are six Faerie elements: Earth, Fire, Air, Light, Dark, and Water. Every Faerie fits into one of these elements: Naia the Fountain Faerie is a Water Faerie, Illusen is an Earth Faerie, even the Tooth Faerie is clearly an Air Faerie, with her blue hair and clear wings. Which raises the question: what type of Faerie is Fyora? The truth is, Fyora is a Dark Faerie!
At this point, I’m sure some of you are shaking your heads in disbelief. How, you ask, could Fyora possibly be a Dark Faerie? She’s the ruler of Faerieland, after all! Well, the clues are all there, pointing towards the answer!
First of all, everyone knows that Dark Faeries favor purple. Jhudora’s wings and hair are purple and the Darkest Faerie had purple highlights. And when one thinks of Fyora, what does one think of? Purple. Now, sure, some could argue that Fyora favors pink, and she even lists it as her favorite color in the Neopedia, but come on, one would have to be color-blind to think that Fyora wears more pink than purple. And only a Dark Faerie would ever wear that much purple.
Which brings me to my second point: what else do Dark Faeries have an affiliation for, besides purple? Power. All Dark Faeries love power. It’s the reason why the Darkest Faerie tried to take over, and Jhudora is locked in a constant power-struggle with Illusen. And who has the most power of the Faeries? Why, the Faerie Queen of course! But how did she come to terms with this power? Even though the Neopedia praises her and talks about her favorite color, it cleverly leaves this information out! She has been the ruler of Faerieland as long as anyone can remember… BECAUSE she used her dark magic to wipe everyone’s memories when she took over! It’s the only logical explanation! The only reason why she protects Faerieland from usurpers like the Darkest Faerie is because she’s afraid of losing her power! Furthermore, I have reason to believe that she rigged the ballot when they voted for Neopia’s Most Magical Monarch, but that is beside the point.
My third point: Dark Faeries also have a love of chaos. Now, most of you will claim that Fyora has never caused chaos in her life, but that is just one of the lies that she has been feeding you. Have you seen the state of Faerieland lately? Faerieland fell in Year 13; four years ago! Yet, has there been any improvement in the condition of Faerieland? No! The Faerie Foods shop is still cracked, the Faerieland Bookshop has broken windows, and the castle’s towers are still tumbling! What exactly is Fyora doing with the profit from those quests, or from the Hidden Tower? Sure, repairing a whole land takes lots of time and effort, but surely they’d have been able to repair a few windows by now. So why haven’t they? Because, secretly, Fyora loves the current state of Faerieland! The destruction and chaos makes her evil side happy, so why would she want to change it? How many Faerie Queens does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because Fyora loves darkness!
Now, it is common knowledge that Fyora is an advocate for Dark Faerie rights. Most Neopians assume that this is because she is a kind, caring, and fair ruler. However, she’s just setting the stage to preserve her way of life should her secret ever come out. If Neopia found out that their beloved Faerie Queen was a Dark Faerie, well, it wouldn’t be that bad, right? Because Fyora always talked about how Dark Faeries can be good, right? Well, news flash: she only said those things because she IS a Dark Faerie! She’s trying to lure us all into a false sense of security! Well, Miss Fyora, it’s not working on me!
And let’s talk about some of the items she is selling in that Hidden Tower of hers. First of all, the Hidden Tower is itself a cause of chaos; many a poor Faerie or Pteri has flown into this tall, yet invisible, obstacle. How are they to know to go around it if they can’t see it? Fyora gets her kicks watching the poor flyers in Faerieland crash into the solid-stone wall and then wonder what the Coltzan just happened? But inside the tower is where the true chaos is revealed. Why is Fyora selling evil and cursed items, such as Jhudoras Bewitched Ring or Dr. Sloths Personal Bath Buddy? She is obviously hopping to cause the Neopians who purchase these items pain and suffering. And besides, selling a pile of dung for five million Neopoints? That’s the most evil thing I’ve ever heard of!
And if you still don’t believe me, I’ve got one final weapon up my hands – my brother, Yellow! He has recently infiltrated Fyora’s circle of trust, eager to bring the truth to—
Yellow: “Cream, stop this nonsense. Queen Fyora is not a Dark Faerie.”
Cream: “Oh no! She’s brain-washed you! It’s more serious than I thought!”
Yellow: “No, she hasn’t brain-washed me. Now stop it; you’re going to get me in trouble.”
Cream: “But do you have anything to say about Fyora for my article? Any news about the secret evil dungeons she throws innocent pets into? Or her secret evil army of Meepits?”
Yellow: “Queen Fyora doesn’t have either of these things. Now leave me alone!”
Hmm… truly suspicious indeed. Perhaps that was code, and my brother was trying to tell me something? Perhaps by saying that Fyora doesn’t have either of those things, he was using reverse psychology to tell me that she actually DOES have those things! It makes perfect sense!
So, is Fyora a Dark Faerie? Yes, she certainly is. But shall I let you decide that for yourself? Yes, I shall, but you should know that if, after all this, you still think Fyora is not a Dark Faerie, you are wrong. I’ll let the facts stand for themselves. And next time the Faerie Queen gives you a quest, you might want to think twice about doing it.