Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 193,522,177 Issue: 694 | 14th day of Hiding, Y17
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Things We Wish Our Pets Wouldn’t Say

by mercy_angel


My Pteri has been very vocal about his opinions as of late. Don’t get me wrong, he was always a very talkative bird but lately he seems to be taking it to a new extreme. Perhaps he is still bitter over what Boochi did to him but that was months ago. It’s about time he let my ears rest. I’m sure many Neopet owners would agree with me that some of the things our pets say can be grating after a while. Here are a few things that Neopets say that makes Angel and me want to pull our hair out, but first we’ll introduce everyone to the stars of our article.



Potato832000 says: Destruct-O-Match sounds like fun right about now.

As someone who has been playing Destruct-O-Match (DoM) daily for the past few weeks trying for the avatar, I can tell you DoM does NOT sound like fun right now. It’s a frustrating game that never gives the right power-ups when you need them. Any other game right now would be more fun than DoM. Why can’t our pets pick an easier and more entertaining game like Kass Basher or Meerca Chase. Those games only take a few minutes to play and give out a decent amount of NP for the time required to get a good score. DoM, on the other hand, requires more time and tons of tedious clicking.

xgelertx27 says: Do you think you could buy me a toy? Please?

No I don’t think I can buy you a toy. You already have toys. In fact, you have too many toys. Now, you may all think I’m being too harsh here but I can assure you that I’m merely anti-spoiling. Seriously, a quick search in my Safety Deposit Box revealed that he has more than 600 unique toys. He doesn’t need new ones. He can just play with the ones he already has. Although, if he could sell his old toys, buy new toys and earn his own Neopoints then it’ll be ok. But in all honesty, he’s an egg now he doesn’t even have arms to play with the toys.

Potato832000 says: How can I show my face in the Battledome like this?

Getting this comment from your Neopet is insulting, especially if you’ve put a lot of time and effort into dressing them up and making them look pretty/handsome. Why can’t they say something like “Boy, I hope I don’t get a wrinkle in my dress/shirt when I’m battling cause that would be bad,” instead. At least this comment shows that your Neopet thinks the way you’ve dressed them up is nice and they don’t want to ruin their appearance. Besides, when you’re in the Battledome the last thing you should be worrying about is how you look. You should be more worried about your survival. ;P

xgelertx27 says: Is it time for training yet?

I’m an advocate of training so I usually don’t mind him asking for training. However, WHY ARE YOU ASKING WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY IN TRAINING? (Please excuse my shouting. It couldn’t be contained.) Don’t get me wrong, if I could I would definitely throw my egg into more than one training course at a time but unfortunately I can’t. So stop bothering me you ungrateful egg and wait until your 18 hour course is done then I’ll gladly toss you into another class. In fact, I’d even encourage it.

xgelertx27 says: My puny arms can't even hold an Attack Pea!

Now, this one is a recurring one, so I think he wants to make a point. I know some strength training is in order, and I’ve been trying my best to give him his training. However, this is not a nice way of hinting it! Not only does he assume he will have a chance to hold an Attack Pea, he assumed he has arms. Sorry my little birdie, you’re an egg. Eggs do not have arms.

Potato832000 says: Today doesn't seem to be a very good day.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard my Neopet say this which is probably a good thing. Who wants to be stuck with a pessimistic Neopet anyways? Every day is a good day, especially if your owner has kept you well fed, happy, well dressed and well trained. Just be grateful for the fact that you’re not one of those poor and lonely Neopets who are stuck in the pound waiting for some kind sole to come along and offer you a nice home to stay in. Those Neopets are the only ones who should be complaining about having a bad day.

Potato832000 says: When's the last time we visited the Techo Master?

My Neopet says this a lot, but probably because we have stopped visiting the Techo Master ever since she got too big to train at the Mystery Island Training School. I guess when she was training there, he really did leave a good impression on her which is great, but now she should know that the Techo Master is no longer her teacher. His valuable time is now spent training weaker Neopets that were once like her; those who dream of growing up big and strong. She needs to start listening to her teacher at the Ninja School so that one day she’ll be able to master those skills.

xgelertx27 says: Why don't you just paint me grey if you're gonna leave me like this?

There are 2 things wrong with his question. First and foremost, he is implying that I am neglecting him. Now, I’m not saying I’m a model owner but I think I take good care of my Neopets. I feed them (or lodge them), give them toys, read to them and customize them. I don’t think I’m doing a bad job, so why is he upset? Secondly, he seems happy to me. Of course, I’m not the best mood reader out there, but then it blatantly says “delighted!” I can assume base on what I am told. I don’t know why he’s upset. Wait... could it be he wants to be grey and is subtly guilt tripping me into it?

Potato832000 says: *yawn* Is it nap time, yet?

Yes, it’s nap time. You can nap whenever you want. You don’t have to constantly ask if it’s nap time yet. Neopets should know by now that they can do whatever they like. If they don’t like the food you’re trying to feed them or the book you’re trying to make them read they’ll flat out refuse to do it so why should napping be any different. If they feel like sleeping I’m pretty sure they don’t need to ask for permission since they run the show. They are the kings and queens of the Neopia.

xgelertx27 says: Know anyone who's up for a fight?!

Ah, I’m sensing a pattern now. Neopets with a decent amount of stats will scream battle related things such as battling other pets, training, seeing the Techo Master, etc. This makes a lot more sense now. But let’s address the issue at hand, which is the desire to fight another Neopet. I’ll say this now: I’m a chicken. I get nervous easily. The thought of pitting my egg up against another Neopet throws my fight or flight instinct into turbo mode (Yes, I almost always choose flight). So please my dear egg, for the love of Sloth, don’t ask to battle another pet. Can’t we all just get along? ♥

As you can see, a talkative Neopet isn’t always a good thing. It seems that most of the times when they decide to speak to you, it’s to complain about one thing or another. No one likes to hear constant pessimism because it can put a real damper on your day. Our advice to all Neopets is to start looking on the bright side of things. If they think they have it bad just think about the poor Neopets who have been abandoned by their owners and are forced to live in the pound. :( Where are their new toys and expensive training courses???

Public Service Announcement: Please consider giving a nice home to those less fortunate Neopets who spend their days crying in the pound.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


A Rainbow Pool Alternative
... That kind of works?

Idea by riggsy_reborn

by lizzbear_


Meridell or Brightvale?
I’ve decided to teach Clopina and everyone reading at home about Brightvale and Meridell. Hopefully by the end, anyone considering moving to either land can gain knowledge before making any decisions.

by sassyxsandra


Fruits of Brightvale
his article will serve to highlight a few of Brightvale’s best berries, for the berry enthusiast, or for those who are interested in all things Brightvale.

by cheriipie


At The Coffee Shop

by wokitana

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.