Dr. Sloth: Evil or Not?
When you think about Dr. Frank Sloth the first thing that pops up in your head is some wicked olive green dude obsessed with neopian world domination, giving out mysterious transmogrification potions that turn pets into horrifying creatures. There's no possible way that this guy could be anything but bad. Or is there? Before you start flooding me with hate neomails and throwing me onto Florg's dinner plate (again), really try to think about it. Is Dr. Sloth really a bad guy? Were his actions really villainous?
In this article I will prove that the negative stuff you heard about Dr. Sloth are actually positive. Also, I promise that I'm not being payed or threatened by Dr. Sloth to write this article because he's way too embarrassed about what he did, so he needs some way to make his deeds look acceptable so Neopets can stop sending him the extra monthly bills for the damage caused by the last Return of Sloth plot.
Neopets to Virtupets
According to Neopedia, Sloth had arrived a long time ago (so long ago that the exact date is unknown.) The discovery of Sloth was when he made a public announcement that he would replace "Neopets" with "Virtupets." Now this may sound horrible to you, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps Dr. Sloth actually planned for us to be having a peaceful neopian life. Yeah sure, right now we're okay, but if you look around not everyone is happy. What if Virtupets was the thing we needed to make our lives better. Maybe Dr. Sloth's attempt of taking over wasn't a bad thing.
Right now you probably think: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!?? If Dr. Sloth was ruling Neopia we would be some mindless (and probably mutant) workers. We wouldn't get a freedom of emotion, or speech, or anything really.
You all are such dramatic worry-warts. Can't you just understand that Dr. Sloth's tough love is what we need? This "freedom" non-sense is the reason why some of us are so unhappy. Someone controlling and guiding us is the thing that can make our lives better. Plus, we get to be painted mutant for FREE, do you have any idea how much neopoints you need in order to paint your pet mutant. Not only is he not a villain, he's also super generous!
Kidnapping the Space Faerie
The Space Faerie, isn't she just great? People say her quests are the most rewarding, or that she isn't recognized enough for how awesome and cool she is. I'll tell you one thing she is; nosy. Dr. Sloth was just peacefully planning the improvement of Neopets (or what should've been Virtupets) but she just had to interfere. Such negative influences are not needed in Neopia. If I was Dr. Sloth and some faerie was ruining my plan of neopian happiness I would probably also kidnap -- I mean, I would nicely tell her to stop. Um anyways, let's move on...
(Note - Yes Mira, the space faerie, I'm still VERY angry and upset about you making me buy that expensive item for your quest. FIRST YOU YOU PESTER SLOTH NOW YOU PESTER INNOCENT NEOPIANS LIKE ME, OH WOW WHAT A -- I mean, that was not very nice, please apologize.)
Transforming Innocent Grundos into "Monstrous" Mutant Grundos
Poor innocent Grundos, taken in by the evil Dr. Sloth to be turned into hideous, disgusting, mutant workers. That's probably what you would think. However you've got it all wrong my friend.
Let me tell you something, back in the day if your pet was painted, you were practically winning your neopets life (no matter what color, or what it looked like, it just had to be something else other than the basic yellow, green, red or blue to be in this category.) When these Grundos were transformed they were probably so delighted. They could show off to all their friends this new color that they are (even if it was ugly, who cares. At least they're not basic.)
Dr. Sloth's transmogrification potion probably improved (or saved) a lot of social lives for many Grundos out there. In return all they have to do is work for Sloth all their life. Seems like a pretty sweet deal to me. To this day, the transmogrification potion is still a pretty popular thing, and brings joy to many neopets through out Neopia. Nowadays you can find Sloth giving out transmogrification potions to random neopians and brightening up their days.
Taking Brucey B's Lucky Coin
Back in Y2 Dr. Sloth anonymously wrote a letter to Brucey B and made a bet that if a Jetsam (hired by Dr. Sloth) won a game of Cheat against him he would have to give up his lucky coin that would help him win every Cheat game, if Brucey B won he would receive 100,000 neopoints. The Jetsam won and Brucey B's lucky coin was in Dr. Sloth's possession. Sloth then used the coin to gain entrance into one of the Lost Desert's pyramids, and planned to start a war on Sakhmet. In the process there was a lot of chaos and neopets turning into mutant Grundos. Since then, everyone has and (some) still do hate Dr. Sloth.
First of all, the lucky coin getting into Dr. Sloth's hands was all Brucey B's fault. Seriously, even if it is for 100,000 neopoints, who's stupid enough to listen to an anonymous note and go to a super shady location just to play a game of Cheat! Especially during Y2, did they even have Defenders of Neopia back then? Brucey B was pretty much asking for it, frankly I think that this is all his fault. Is he really the innocent guy in this story? All of this really wouldn't have happened if he was being safe and took care of his possessions (Neopets better have sent him a warning neomail.)
Now I hope after reading this article you will reconsider your opinion about Dr. Sloth, and recognize what a generous, and kind man he is. It's quite a shame that he is seen as the bad guy when really he's as innocent as The Money Tree. He's always so misunderstood and victimized by the world, you all just really need to give him a chance.
Hey guys, um this is really weird just a second ago I was at my Neohome at Roo Island, but for some reason I'm at... I think this is Virtupets Space Station -- why am I writing on a piece of paper -- WHY AM I A MUTANT GRUNDO -- sorry about that, I must have Sneezles or something hahaha....