Okay. This diary is supposed to help me get over Mum's death. Not that I'm hurting or anything. Social services, eh? They always think there's a reason behind a person painting black instead of yellow. Yellow's harsh on the eyes, okay? Black is soothing. It's not the colour of death, or anything...
*takes deep breath*
Let's start again, shall we? My name is Darius Blake, I am a shadow Draik and I think social services are stupid.
*Darius, c'mon, bud, give this a chance.*
THAT is Max, my social worker. He's paid to care. His love is for the money, not for me. He checks what I write in this diary because it is a 'learning project'. Basically, I have a stalker. Fantastic, huh?
So. I'm meant to write about my 'worries, hopes and fears'. Instead I'm going to talk about what I actually CARE about.
Wasn't this year's Games Master challenge great? AAA is brilliant. I was on Team Villians, of course. They had cookies! Plus that fire dude looks awesome. Am I meant to know his name? Oh well. Villians won, because evil ALWAYS prevails against those stupid prissy Heroes.
*Darius, that's not nice.*
Guess what, Max? I don't CARE.
*Just because you're upset...*
I'm not upset, okay? Just leave me alone.
Not you. I like you. I'm talking to Max. I wish he would stop pretending he was my DAD. He doesn't care, and I don't care that he doesn't care. That blue Aisha is irritating, and I just wish that he didn't have anything to do with me. It isn't my fault that I hat him. He hates me, too.
So, it's been a while. Max decided that maybe this whole diary business 'wasn't for me'. Why he has started making me do it again, I can't figure out.
*Darius, you know you've been getting better. Not so cranky. You can handle a diary now.*
Max, go AWAY.
He's wrong. There hasn't been any progress for me to make. Just because my eyes are starting to get used to the harshness of yellow. And it's not MY fault that I was gifted a Snow Paint Brush and decided to try it out. Geez, Max thinks that every single event that happens to me 'means something'. I still liked my shadow paint.
I hope I can visit Shenkuu soon. Max has been promising for AGES, but he hasn't taken me yet. It's where Mum came from, and I think he thinks that I'll get all angry or whatever if I go. Shenkuu looks like a great place. I've been reading up on it recently. Y'know, just so I can be prepared.
Max thinks that THAT means something too. Apparently just because I haven't read since Mum died and now I decide to, it means I'm making progress. Social workers are annoying.
*Stop being so ungrateful, Darius.*
Yeah, well, I'm not grateful. I wish you didn't exist, alright? I'm not gonna lie here, just like you said.
*Darius, if you keep up with this attitude, this trip to Shenkuu is out the window.*
Max is so mean. Does he not see how much I want to go to Shenkuu, the country of coolness and tangrams? I'm pretty good at Shenkuu Tangram, I've gotta say. It'll be great playing in the place where it originated. IF Max lets me go. Which doesn't look likely, even though HE HIMSELF said my behaviour was improving. Typical social worker, huh?
*Hey, hey. I said I'd take you to Shenkuu, I'll take you to Shenkuu. End of story. Don't get stroppy with me.*
I'm NOT getting stroppy. I don't GET stroppy. Not anymore. Maybe my behaviour HAS been getting better...
So, because I was making such good progress, Max let me lay off the diary for a while, but I decided I wanted it back. It's great for letting off steam, y'know? Plus, It's got a really cool cover.
I'm going to Shenkuu next week! I'm excited, because Max has started packing so I know it's definite. I probably should pack, too, but I'm just too excited!
So, you probably wonder why I spend so much time with a social worker I didn't even (used to) like. Well, obviously Mum died, and Dad did too, when I was a kid. I've been with Max with him as my social worker five years now, nearly six. And when Mum died, he became my legal guardian until I'm old enough to take care of myself. Which might be a while, considering my record. Whatever, I'm good for now.
Shenkuu's so close I can taste it! Well, nearly. We've hiked, plus hitched some rides on boats, and now we're almost there! This is going to be great!
Okay, Max made me give up the diary while we were in Shenkuu so I could just enjoy it. It was AMAZING!!! I never knew it would be so... arty, almost. Even the Neopets, who were normal breeds, just seemed so beautiful and sophisticated and perfect! I made friends with a yellow Kacheek who's now my pen pal. Even the writing over there is beautiful! I got some creative locals to write my name in really nice letters on a creamy white scroll, which is now hung up in my room. Shenkuu Tangram wasn't different over there, but it still felt magic. The houses over there are so simple yet beautiful that it just takes my breath away. When I'm old enough, I'm gonna live there.
Next on the list is Faerieland, because I wanna meet some Faeries and bet on a Poogle Race. Maybe I'll end up there instead, but I think it might just be a bit too... pink. Even Stella, a friend I made back here in Neopia Central recently, thinks that even SHE can't handle that much fluffy girlishness. No offence, Queen Fyora.
Max has been trying to trick me into agreeing to spin the Wheel of Excitement, but everyone I know has had way better luck on the Wheel of Mediocrity. Tyrannia's up after Faerieland, I think. I'd like to travel to every country in Neopia some day, but I'll come back and visit Max if he decides that he doesn't want to come with me.
*Of course I'll come with you!*
I don't really mind Max writing in this any more. He's pretty darn cool. I don't think he's still doing it for the money. I hope not!
I guess I've gotten over my mum's death now. I'm glad I was given this diary, because I don't think I would've otherwise. Mum, a red Wocky, is still my favourite person to ever have existed. She was so nice, and kind, and caring. She'd buy me ice cream before dinner. She'd let me draw on the pavement with chalk. She'd let me dress up in Dad's old clothes. She was the best parent ever.
I still think Max is a pretty close contender. He's funny, and inspirational, and he likes travel. He plays with me and talks to me. I like him a lot, even if I didn't before. Before, I was a pretty messed-up kid. Now I'm a normal snow Draik who just hangs out with a new Dad. I like it like that.
Soon, we'll travel more, and I'll start school. I can't wait, but I'm taking it one step at a time. Things will work out. They always have before. I just need to move on.