The Most Thorough Gormball History Lesson, Part 2
Welcome back to the second part of The Most Thorough Gormball History Lesson...quite a mouthful there. Last week I covered the basics of the game, preparing you for the championship, and dolling out priceless advice on the best ways to get through the game and win without getting soaked by a giant Gormball. I hope you've spent the last week practicing your technique, because now it's time to meet the players you'll be going up against should you choose to join the Annual Gormball Championships.
If you've been playing Gormball for any amount of time, you are familiar with the players at least by face.
These are the players in not only the regular Gormball, but also the competitors in the Annual Gormball Championship. Did you really expect the best players in the world to take a day off? No way, they are out competing against any Neopian willing to step into the ring and challenge them.
Thyassa the Chia
One of the cutest players out there, Thyassa relies on his adorable purple body and playful smile to charm the competition and lower their guard. People used to think he was just a kind little Chia who wandered over to play a game for fun, but what they've learned through the years is that he is one of the most devious, fierce competitors of all time. For a long time he was undefeated, and there was quite a scandal where someone finally wanted to knock the crown from his head once and for all...(that's a cliffhanger for next week's article though!!)
Brian the Scorchio
There is something in Brian's eye that seems so suspicious, like something isn't quite right, a look of pure evil. He isn't the best Gormball player around but it is undeniable that he has a passion for the sport even if it is a little misguided and causes some trouble. Could this be tied into what happened to Thyassa? Hmm...something to think about!!
This mutant Grundo with a very difficult to pronounce name can be found all over the world competing in various sports. How he finds the time, I have no idea. He runs Grundos Cafe up at the Space Station, turning wonderful gourmet foods into easy to swallow nutrient pills that make eating in space a breeze. He's been the competitor-to-beat in Better Than You four times, three of which were for other ball-related games: twice for Zurroball and once for Wingoball. While he may not be the best at Gormball, he is one of the most well rounded contestants and it is thought that if he dropped everything else and focused solely on Gormball that he could be the best player in the world.
Farvin III the Alien Aisha
Possibly the Neopet with the greatest natural advantage in the game, Farvin III has six ears that allow him to take note of the subtle changes going on with the Gormball, making it easier to predict an explosion. Rather than working at the Vending Machine or building interstellar space ships, Farvin III has used his space knowledge and mathematically expertise to launch his way to the forefront of Gormball players and has become a household name, even having an Usuki doll designed after him!
Ember the Fire Faerie
Gormball transcends species, it isn't just Neopets that compete but Faeries get into the game too! Ember used to be teased by other Faeries for her obsession with this non-celestial game, but that didn't stop her from pursuing her dream. She has solidified herself as a top player and the other Faeries respect her for it...with the exception of one: Taelia. Taelia, the Snow Faerie has a long history of arguing with Ember, to the point there was even a stamp created to commemorate their fighting! Hopefully it won't distract her in this year's championship.
Zargrold the COOL Grundo
Another Grundo stepping into the championships alongside Gargarox, there must be something in the Virtupets Space Station that has caused some of the best Gormball players to come from it. Zargrold, very different from Gargarox, is COOL. Many wonder just what makes Zargrold so cool but then they meet him and see why. He is incredibly chill, always rocking dark sunglasses that give him a "never cared" vibe. He keeps it casual when talking about Gormball, like winning isn't everything, but he seems very concerned with the items he could win. The fame and money doesn't excite him...but the rare items, that is what he is after.
Ursula the Usul
For as cool and mellow Zargrold is, Ursula is the complete opposite. She has zero chill in terms of Gormball and takes the game more seriously than any of the other top competitors. She isolated herself on top of Mount Usalin (no one really knows exactly where that is) and spent six years there training in solitude. How one practices a group game like Gormball alone is beyond me..but it has worked for her. She eats, sleeps, and breathes Gormball, claiming the game flows through her veins and binds her body together. She's wound a bit too tight and is known to lash out if you question her ability to play, and don't even suggest she take a break to calm down or she'll absolutely lose it.
Kevin the Korbat
Kevin was a replacement player, he isn't good at the game but he has the enthusiasm it takes to BECOME a great player. He is the youngest competitor on the field and was kind of thrust into the spotlight but he has embraced the challenge and really stepped up to the plate. He's been playing for many years now and his game has improved exponentially, it'll be really exciting to see what he brings to the table this year.
That is all of the players, thank you for joi--
*a voice breaks through a loudspeaker* "EXCUSE ME! I BELIEVE YOU ARE FORGETTING SOMEONE!!"
Who...who is that...Hello?
"Ahem," the voice clearing its throat. "You are forgetting one competitor. How dare you leave off the most amazing Gormball champion of all time. You are lucky I don't smite you right here on the spot!!"
Oh..yes, of course. I was going to include you in the next section when we cover history of the tournament. *muttering to myself* But of course you wouldn't have the patience...
"What was that??"
Nothing. Sorry for the interruption everyone. As you can see, I didn't include someone on the roster...
Dr. Frank Sloth! The reason he isn't included above is because he doesn't have time to compete with us regular Neopians down here and instead only shows up for the occasional annual competition...but we'll get into more detail about that next week! Stay tuned for the final part of our comprehensive Gormball history!!
To be continued…