I don't remember much from my past. I know, however, that I used to live with Jhudora the darkness faerie before Puk found me, but this was when I was very young and didn't know anything about the world. I used to think I loved her, because she was the only one that cared about me, but I know better now.

One of my first memories is Jhudora showing me how to make my dolls into voodoo dolls and stick needles into them. I also recall her doing a spell on me so that I turned shadow. I've tried going to the rainbow pool after that, but it never worked; I guess I'm kind of cursed, in a twisted way. She also helped me make my collar spiked and put a spell on it to make it pink.

But there are bad memories, too. Even though Jhudora sort of adopted me and tried teaching me how to become a darkness faerie like herself, I guess she always was afraid that I'd become stronger than her, and always reminded me that she was my master by using me like som sort of servant. I never refused to do what she told me to, though. I was weak, and I believed there was no other life than the one I was living. I had never seen anything else, so how would I know? There were rare times when I whimpered and weakly asked why I had to obey her, and this is how I got the scar over my left eye. I don't remember exactly what happened, because I was fainted for several hours after the fight itself, but I remember a burning pain, and the thought that my head was going to explode. When I woke up, my eye felt like someone had held a match to it, I couldn't open it, and when I looked in the mirror with my other eye, there was a wound at the size of a cow. Later, it's turned into the pink scar, and doctors have told me that there is no way to make it go away.

Jhudora has her good moods, too. She was in one when she threw a tantrum at me one of the other very rare times I tried rebelling against her, screaming how she'd been so good to me and this was what she got in return, and even though she only used words against me this time, I truly believed I didn't deserve to live. I spent days in selfhate, silently screaming at myself because I had made Jhudora sad with my selfish brat manners, and how I was nothing but a hassle for her. So you see, the pink scar isn't the only scar she left me with.

There were times where I tried escaping, but she always found me again. Hell, there are times when I feel she's still keeping an eye on me whereever I go, and that I never will escape. It's a miracle that I ain't living with her still, and I still don't really understand what happened that day when Puk found me outside the cloud. There are black holes in my memory, so I suppose we'd been fighting again, and she kicked me out. Puk tells me I was covered in bruises and probably had a broken arm or two, so she went to pick me up and take me to the healing springs nearby. All I remember is the pain of thousand knives stabbing through my body. Sometimes, I wonder if she used a voodoo doll looking like me when she needed to make me obey. Jhudora must have been really pissed that time, though, as she didn't stop Puk; I never heard from her again. When I started thinking again, I still couldn't open my eyes, but my hearing started coming back. And when I could open my eyes, I looked up into what has been my home from then on.

I'll never be able to forget what happened to me in my childhood, but the pain has subsided, and some of it I don't want to forget either. The happy memories, the collar, Jhudora when she was happy and called me her favorite pet. But maybe you'll now understand why I can't just accept new people that fast, and why I get hurt very easily. This is also the story of my personality. So please keep that in mind when I look like I hate you- Maybe I just need a little comfort; I never got that when I was at Jhudora's.